Monday, November 28, 2005

poem

The people are sleeping,
Save one schoolboy weeping.
His work is not finished.
His moral diminished,
He cries on the floor,
His back to the door.
Far away, a girl in candlelight,
With pen and pad doth write
An epic poem long
Of freedom, darkness and song.
At night she fears silence.
Knowing love leads to violence,
Represses the feeling,
And writes while she's healing.
A jumper covers skin pale,
Legs behind shorts, of a male.
Bloodstained are her fingers.
In her sadness lingers.
She looks out the glass,
Sees no people pass,
And undoes the latch,
In her mind a plan hatch.
She climbs into the air,
Shaking back her short hair.
Silent, she drops
And runs past the shops.
Bare feet slap on concrete,
Hoping no-one she'll meet.
The people are sleeping.
She prays nobody's peeping.
Crosses the road without even a glance.
The moon alone watches her dance.
On the grass she leaps and bounds.
Darts under streetlamps. Flies over the ground.
Only the moon sees as she dances.
Only the moon watches her prances.
A car drives past.
The girl shrinks fast,
Hides from the light,
Ducks out of sight.
Mustn't be seen.
She mustn't be seen.
She creeps now, uncertain,
Of those behind the curtain.
But the people are sleeping.
She returns to her leaping.
Under the moonlight she flies and she sings.
It's four o'clock magic. She alone has gold wings.
She reaches a pond
And picks up a wand.
A fairy, she flutters,
Unseen by the gutters,
And swirls in the moonlight,
All through the night.
Then over the trees shoots the first ray of sunshine.
The city night pixie sees the sign.
Her wings disappear. Her wand is a stick.
She enters her window before you could click.
The people stop sleeping.
The cars start their beeping.
Not a word has she spoken.
Waits in bed to be woken.
She's lost her freedom, but just for the day,
So smiling, she knows it will all be ok.
She faces the day with her head held up high,
Glancing, in secret, at the moon in the sky.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

doobeeedooodooodaaa

Evening all.

Today the event of Helen's 18th Birthday Party occured. It was a small affair, involving some people. I shan't talk much on it because other people can probably do it better, with pictures and suchlike. But it was great fun and I hope everyone enjoyed the play. Happy Birthday Helen my dear.

(a-by-the-way:) By the way, I am indeed 16, as pointed out by Dave C. I turned 16 on the 14th November. I am not old. But not as old as you lot. So ha!

How to make a not-omelette:
-find a saucepan and an egg and some left over chicken (optional)
-put the saucepan on the gas thingy and crack the egg into it
-wait for egg to cook
-turn on gas
-wait for egg to cook...a bit
-put left over chicken bits into cooking egg
-poke mixture with fork so it doesn't stick to pan
-when mixture starts to smoke remember that you are cooking and take it off hurriedly
-scrape mixture into bowl
-eat

Original plans were to cook an omelette but circumstances led to a not-omelette being made, which was yummy so I recommend it.

Do I have anything else to say? Urm, yeah. Those who were not at Helen's or those who left ridiculously early were missed. But there is always another time, no?

Other thoughts...Steve dropped me on my head! Shock! Horror! (It still hurts- hehe.) It was my fault for wriggling though. *giggles*

Oh! No, actually that's it. Goodnight to all. I am going to go and clean out the hamster. See you!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

as promised

Dead Baby Jokes:

-What’s worse than finding 10 dead babies in a tree?
-Finding 1 dead baby in 10 trees.

-What goes waaaah, splat, ping?
-A baby in a microwave.

-How do you find a baby that has been playing with a blender?
-Look up.

-What’s the difference between 10 dead babies and 10 dead sheep?
-I don’t have 10 dead sheep hidden under my bed.


Poems:

People (by D.H. Lawrence)
I like people quite well at a little distance.
I like to see them passing and passing and going their own way, especially if I see their aloneness alive in them.
Yet I don’t want them to come near.
If they will only leave me alone I can still have the illusion that there is room enough in the world.


I don’t need coffee (by H. Islam)
I don’t need coffee.
I am strong,
Independent.
I will control my own life.
I don’t need coffee.
Latté, cappuccino, mocha…mmm.
I can stand on my own two feet
(outside Starbucks drooling).
No!
I don’t need coffee.
I can sit here,
Looking at the cup,
Feeling its warmth,
Imagining its taste.
Well…maybe.
I don’t need coffee
-starting tomorrow!


Forgotten Coffee Cups
Forgotten coffee cups
Crying in the corner
Forsaken coffee cups
Mourning lost friendship
Poor, lonely coffee cups
Lie in wait for my return


Remember?
Do you remember the days
When walking to school was an adventure?
Do you remember the time
You believed you could fly?
Can you recall the excitement?
The passion? The simplicity?
Do you remember the touch of your teddy?
Can you recall?


Legs
When you can’t support yourself
I will be your legs.
When you’re too tired to see
I will be your eyes.
When all want to do is give up
I will be behind you,
Egging you on.

When you hate every cell in your body
I will give you mine.
When you are broken, lying cold in space
I will be your friend.
When you’re so lost you cannot even find yourself
I will be your map.

I will hold your hand.


Time or Space
No.
We don’t believe in time or space.
We don’t believe in waves or mass.
I won’t believe in life and death.
You cannot make me face the pain.
I will survive inside myself.
You can’t force me to be here and now.
I am not lost. I just won’t see.


Poem for Jessie
I can see you drawing,
Hear the scratch of your pen.
I look at your pictures
In admiration and jealousy.
Flowing dresses, elegant faces
And pretty patterns tumble
Onto blank sheets,
Filling empty spaces,
With love and fear and passion.
I can see you drawing,
Hear the scratch of your pen.
I watch as you release each stroke
Gently, carefully,
As if it were a child.
I watch you coax your ink
Into images of beauty and pain.
I can see you drawing.
Watch new worlds be created.
It is pure magic.
It is Jessie
Laid out for all to see.


To Anaïs
I found you when I was nearly broken
You took me and gave me a hug
You held me when I was close to breaking
In your arms, gave me your love.
I hope you know that when you’re broken
I will take you and give you a hug
I will hold you and stop you breaking
In my arms, give you my love.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Give up giving up.

Stuff to look forward to:
-more poems (some of mine, some from the Gorey Alphabet, and one by Habiba)
-more dead baby jokes (Kirsten sent me some in a letter. I'll put them on asap)

Explanation of title:
I am starting a new campaign which aims in helping people find or make their very own sunny dispotition. It's called "give up giving up" and I don't know how it will work but hopefully it will provide smiles and laughs to the needy, and the not-needy too (because I think it's sad how the not-needy are ignored).
Your homework:
To make a list of the things that make you smile*. These may include "forbidden" things. The list is for you.

*Definition of "smile":
By smile I mean an inside smile. A smile that might happen when you're on your own, because you subconciously wanted to smile, for your own benefit; not anyone else's. Note:(Being "on your own" is very different from being "alone". If you're on your own you are not with any company. If you're alone you feel like you're on your own, even when you're not. When you're alone you can feel forgotten, rejected and hated. Being on your own is a physical thing. Being alone is a mental thing.)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Thing of the Day!!!

Hello. My thing of the day today is very exciting and has had me in hysterics for many an hour. My thing of the day is: SADISTIC BABY JOKES! (Those who are sensitive please look away now.)I will start with (what I think is) the worst and progress to the best one!

Baby Joke 1:
-How many babies does it take to plaster a wall?
-It depends how hard you throw them!

Baby Joke 2:
-What is better than a baby in a bucket?
-A baby in ten buckets!

Baby Joke 3:
-What is the epitemy of pain?
-A peeled baby in a bucket of salt!


Hilarious, no? I think they're brilliant. The ideas they give me...I want a baby. *evil laughter*

Sunday, November 13, 2005

scrabble, limoncello and .. er .. something else

Hello. Today I woke up at six and, after some deliberation, decided not to go to school, but to lie in bed for a bit insted. So I lay in bed until about 8ish when I got up, reluctantly due to cold room and warm bed. (hehe. this is detailed.) I made a toga out of my bed-thingy. I then finished off a beautiful picture which I'd started the night before- I hope the referrence to "99 red balloons" is noticed! Having done this I charged up the stairs and kicked Luke off the computer to copy Showbiz (by Muse) which Steve lent me and which I had to return. . . this is boring. I've forgotten everything else anyway...

***A NEW PARAGRAPH***
Cor, what shall I put in my new paragraph. Ooh, I know. I will talk about (can you guess? I bet you can!) COFFEE! Oh yes, I return to my favourite topic once again. Ok, so I gave up coffee some days ago now. I have gone what feels like years without it and I no longer and plagued by headaches, nausea, etc. In fact I am feeling quite self-dependant. I do not spend all my time thinking about it...only most of my time. I miss coffee!
Here is a good website: http://www.tmcm.com/comics/webcomics/080_story Please go there and read it. www.tmcm.com is a website which I was recently introduced to by Mr Lewis, and I have been visiting it regularly since. I have just one problem with this story. The problem is that when Too-Much-Coffee-Man gets to the end, I laugh. Which is completely evil because that little coffee bean seems so nice and sweet! Am I completely evil?

Goodnight. I'm going to go downstairs now. I might do my english homework...yes, that would be a good idea. 'Night!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

no coffee

I'm at school. Have had no coffee all day so my mind is not working right (I have such a bad headache) but I will hopefully get some later. Urm. This is really just a quick thing. I should be doing my english homework. I really can't be bothered. No. Um. Yeah, I can't come to Cambridge with you guys cos my mum found out and it's all a bit of a mess. Like they say- "even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry". Whatever that means. Hm. But I won't be seeing you guys (woe), nor being banquetty (more woe), nor shall I be around to carry out plans involving chloroform, the Cam and some armbands...ah, it would've been so good. But maybe some other time? If I do something good?
Don't you guys think it's SO DUMB how the Americans put their dates as month/day/year. I mean, today (in English) is 9/11/2005 and because they have their 9/11 meaning 11th September...well all in all I was just wondering why we weren't all thinking about the planes and big buildings and stuff. But it was explained to me.
However, in the Americans' favour: George Lucas is American and we all know he rules! (Except for being American. I would've been happy to be his son if it weren't for that!!!)
Other stuff...I dunno. I'm a bit messed up right now. We'll see how it turns out, no?
Hugs to all. xxx

Monday, November 07, 2005

Blooobardyblahblah...

Evenin' all. I must say despite being very busy recently I have very little to say.

Last night (or the early hours of the morning. I can't remember exactly but it was pretty early) I was very proud and (dare I say it) happy (no, that's an exageration, but I was close) because I finished my Physics Coursework and have to do NO MORE physics coursework EVER AGAIN!!! I did it all last night and I think it has been done to a reasonable standard. Of course when I get it back I will know otherwise but I tried damned hard and I hope I did alright.

I brought some StarWars cards which are the most exciting thing I've brought in ages. If I remember they will make an appearance at the Banquet this weekend. I also brought some fudge but that got eaten...in my defence there were four of us.

Other news....I'm singing in a concert on Wednesday which will be fun. I'm showing my drama devising piece on Thursday. So my hours are full of musical and dramamtic practise. Also I have a piece of maths coursework due in on the 17th which I need to get on with. But I think that's pretty much it.

I love StarWars!!! and coffee...oh coffee....

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Forgotten coffee cups

Note: I would never forget a cup of coffee.

Recent realisation: I only drink coffee, cranberry juice and alcohol. Though I do not drink much cranberry juice or alcohol. I actually pretty much only drink coffee.


Shocking Fact: at my school they will not let you take coffee into the library, even if you only have 2 minutes to do something very important and it's all you've got for lunch! They make you leave it outside the library! Leaving a cup of coffee to fend for itself in the corridor. Who knows what horrors it encountered? How many people it had to fight to stay there for me? It was traumatic.

Coffee Fact: It is addictive. But who can mind when it tastes SO F***ING GOOD!

Coffee Poem:
thoughts glitter.
bubbles twist and turn
through my mind.
peace breaks through the darkness.
calm envelopes my soul.
heat rushes,
jumping up to greet me.
giggles filter through the pain.
life sparks.
a fairy dances.
puzzles are less puzzling.
the world becomes so sweet.


No-Coffee Poem:
saucepans clatter.
my mind is numb.
my brain is useless.
one track. no return.
conflict rages.
heads split in two.
temperature tumbles.
my body is lost to me.
confusion leaps from every turn.
the lights dim down,
but still shine too bright
for troubled eyes.
i want to hurt and weep and yell.
i disappear. invisible.
where is your world now?


Explanation of Coffee and No-Coffee: I decided to give myself a break during my free as I had not stopped all day (literally) so I sat down and wrote some poems. I did infact write seven poems (in 30minutes! I was impressed.) but you don't want to hear them all and this post is dedicated to coffee so I can't put them in anyway.


Other Coffee Related Thoughts: I really really really really love coffee. I think it's brilliant and although I do know I drink too much (and sometimes...well all the time... get withdraw-syptoms when I go long periods of time without it) I would replace my coffee fetish with nothing in the world...well maybe alcohol...but that's it!


One Un-Coffee Related Thought: I am widely considered as a stalker (or so I am led to believe). My list of stalkées include Rose, Connie (Rose's sister), Valerie (lovely school friend I have), Anais (my alter-ego. she's physical though. it's scary- we have the same thoughts. we ask the same questions in science and everything. freaky really.) and Miss Adie (my ex-drama teacher). Yet! There strikes a problem. It is also a widely known fact that all stalkers have been stalkées themselves. So that got me thinking- WHO has stalked me? (Except for Colin, who denied stalking me. I think he might have just been lonely, but I was under half his age and he said some very scary things....urm, yeah. We don't talk about that anymore.) The issue was raised during a conversation I held with Rose, Helen, Kirsten and Habiba (school friend) and we decided that Rose had obviously stalked me at some point. Then we had to see who stalked her and we realised I stalked her. So, how can this be possible? Well, I put my mind to it and figured that obviously in the future I build a time machine and travel back to the time before Rose stalks me and I stalk her. Chronologically I stalk her first BUT from my perspective she has already stalked me. You see what has happened? From my point of view she stalked me first but from her point of view I stalked her first. Brilliant, isn't it! All I've got to do now is build a time machine and go back and stalk her (this must be before 1994 because that is when I started to stalk her). I don't think I'll be doing that in the near future though as I have a lot of work to be getting on with.


Goodbye: goodbye. I hope I haven't confused anyone too much. For anyone who knows RedDwarf it is the same thing as Lister being his own father. Y'see now? Maybe not, I don't know.


COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE