*shakes and breaks*

I went to Scottish dancing today with Rose and Helen. 'Twas very fun. . .swirly. Everything was very swirly. Oh, I've said that. Well, it can be said twice cos that emphasises how very swirly it was!

words x

went sailing today. big winds. lots of upping and downing. still feel uppy and downy. very confusing. keep falling over. bit of a mess really.

i'm sending out big hugs to you...

Unlike Helen I cannot remember what I did all the way back on... Thursday. (note my perfect grammer there! mwahahahahaha! with grammer as good as this i can take over the world!!!) So I'm just going to write what I can remember, and hope I remember anything important.

Friday (I can remember a little bit of it!): I...urm...I...hmmm....ah yes! I helped out at a Youth Club (7-11yrs) which was very fun and sweet because there were many lovely lovely children there. Got home in time for dinner (yay!)...

On Saturday I went shopping with Henry (brother) and my mother (mother) and I found the BEST fancy dress shop. Very exciting! Also found a lovely cd store, very quaint but not very helpful (I was looking for a VERY specific cd which they did not have). Urm, then I raced home and made lunch, which Luke (my other darling brother) stole from me. But I had to go out so I didn't mind too much. I hurried off the the theatre (Lyric, near Leister Square- boy, I LOVE Leister Square!) where I saw Death of a Salesman, which was very good. I was very impressed. It was good. Urm, then I walked with Lizzy over to Leister Square and we brought hot chocolates and watched the Swiss Clock clime in 6 o'clock. Then I was babysitting for two of the most loveliest boys ever. They're so sweet (and SO WELL BEHAVED!!!) Got back about midnight and did some stuff...

Then on Sunday I got up bright and early (7 o'clock, yeah I know, not that early but still!) and went off to Blackheath. Then (with Richard, my Richard, not Lewis or 'Chard) I went up to Camber and we looked for somewhere to fly the kites but there were loads of restictions and confusion and when we did finally find somewhere where we were allowed to kite it was too windy! But we hung out and looked at beaches and sand dunes and I got some lovely little shells and overall it was ok. I fell asleep in the car on the way back (while I was navigating! hahaha) which I'm very rpoud of 'cos I haven't managed to fall asleep in a car since I was 7. Then I got home and hung about and I guess everything alright.

Except there are things that aren't alright:

• Sarah H-B does not seem particularly happy at her University and I promised she'd make tonnes of friends and have loads of fun. So, if she doesn't I should, by rights, die (for breaking a promise). Also her phone is broken so she can't text/call anyone.
• My stupid computer has gone and introduced a load of restrictions on my area meaning I cannot access anyones' blog (and my mum is in too bad a mood to stick her password in a couple of times to let me be able to).
• There's a Banquet on the 12-13th November (which I may not be invited to. Fan told me about it. I dunno. *shrug*) in Cambridge which I really really would like to go to (if I'm invited) because I loved seeing everyone at Helen's BBQ and because it would mean I could be out of this house for a day-or-two and because it's my birthday on Monday 14th Nov and my parents won't let me have a party of my own but it would be really nice to go to a party/banquet anyway! Thing is I know my parents will not let me go unless I can persuade them with great skill and determination...or lie and say I'm going to someone's house for the 2 days but knowing the probable time-scale of such events it's highly unlikely I would be able to convince them of this. (Also I get told off for "running away from home"/"not telling us where you've been"/"being ungrateful"/many many more similar things. And it's all very sad.

So I am appealing to all you clever minded people out there (if I am invited) as to how I should go about this persuading. Help me! Please... love you all. xxx

look into my tired eyes.

It may not be the same without the tune but I want to share this song.

Burn Baby Burn (Ash)

You're all I have in this teenage twilight

Your golden hair and pale blue eyes

But through all the days and the sleepless nights

We have never been satisfied

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah we are spiraling on the breeze

Almost to the point of no return

Everything will burn, baby, burn

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

And never will be reconciled

Oh something inside has died

You walk like you're in a daze

Unresponsive eyes in a distant gaze

Like all the good times have flown away

And their memory leaves a bitter taste

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah, we are spiraling on the breeze

Destructive love is all we have

Destructive love is all I am

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

And never will be reconciled

Oh something inside has died

Vicious bitter words,

Becoming more and more cruel

But you always take me back

And let me lick your wounds

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah we are spiraling on the breeze

Almost to the point of no return

Everything will burn, baby, burn

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

We're living in a compromise

Something inside has died

It doesn't say anything very special but somehow it fits in my mind. I just wanted to share it. Now I have (woo! go me!).

Urm, so actual reality. What is reality these days? It does not exist.

Have you noticed the leaves are turning brown and crunchy? Very intresting. I didn't expect them so early. It's not cold (except when I have not eaten or slept enough- then it is cold!). If we are lucky there will be Guy Falwke's Night soon (yes, I know I spelt it wrong. It was intentional!).

Do you know the last song Johnny Cash sang? It's called Hurt. It's not by him originally but he sings it very very well. It's very beautiful.

There are lots of spaces in this entry. Well, I have reasons. My mind has many gaps in it at the moment. Everything is all a bit ... weird. Do you know the album Dark Side of the Moon? (Pink Floyd) It's so good!

My final thing: has anyone seen Richard from Kent recently? (I believe he is known as Richard S to some of you, for some unknown reason!)

Bye. Hugs and kisses to everyone! xxx

ringringringringringringring.... (I love brackets!)

Today I went with my mini brother to Beckenham and he played football (winning 13-0. well done him!) while I saw the brilliant and beautiful Steve and Gwyn. Which was very nice. Steve is a very good hugger and Gwyn is a wonderful licker. But one of them (you're going to have to guess) makes me feel very small. In a good way. It's cool. So I want to thank them both for making me smile. THANK YOU!!! I'm afraid I have nothing much to say apart from that. I spoke a lot to the lovely Sarah H-B today. She is very interesting (and brave!). Now I am kind of wordless. I've done most of my homework (claps for Emmie!). I have no after school plans all week (shame on Emmie!) but I will keep busy. I'm good at keeping busy when there is nothing to do (not to be boastful. I know I'm being boastful. hehe!) Cor, I'm energy drained now. But only mentally. Physically I wanna get up and dance (don't worry, I won't.). I'm sorry if this makes no sense. Goodbye. See you again....

World 1-0 Emmie

(I'm breaking the song-title trend in mourning of a dreadful football match that I watched this afternoon.)

You may not know (I don't know who you are so how can I know what you know?) but I am a Queen's Park Ranger's fan. My father is a Leeds United fan. Today QPR played Leeds at Loftus Road (QPR's stadium). I went to see the match with my mother and her brother. I was a bit nervous because the last two times these two teams met Leeds had won 6-1 and we had drawn 1-1. But we started the match well, having attempts at goal and doing decent tackles. Sadly Leeds scored a (rubbish!) goal just before half time, making the score 1-0 to them. The rest of the match was eventful but with no good events. Two of QPR's best players got injured and had to be sub-ed. A Leeds player stamped on someone's foot and got sent off, leaving the Leeds team with only 10 men. There were many incidents resulting in yellow cards, but no more goals. I was sent home to face my dad and brothers (my brothers support Chelsea and Liverpool but they like to tease me).

Yet there was more bad vibes to come! On the bus journey going home my mother suddenly goes, "Emmie, we have to get off the bus!" So we get off the bus and sit on a wall. She's all grey and bug-eyed. She says she's feeling dizzy and ill. We wait a bit for her to recover herself. Then we walk down the tube station and catch the tube one stop over to Sloane Square. Basically eventually I phone my father and he comes to pick us up. She's in bed now. My dad has not given me too much stick about the football match. My brothers have but they're away in Henry's room now.

So yeah, that was my day pretty much. I was meant to get up and take some books back to the library, do some homework, clean out Cake (my hamster. I will do a paragraph about him because he deserves one.) and make sure my lovely brothers are being good. But I failed at that, getting up at 11am (this is 3 hours later than normally at the weekend. Shame on me!).

Cake is my little hamster. He is about 8 weeks old now. He is black and fuzzy- very cute! He likes to run around his cage and shred toilet paper. His hobbies also include being held and sitting on my mobile when it goes *fuzz!* (It *fuzzes* insted of ringing because I don't like the songs it has and I'm too lazy to buy any decent ones.) He dislikes me playing the drums and cleaning him out. He is my little goth hamster and I like him a lot. I don't think there is anything else I can say about him. He might be a father in the future with my brother's hamster Flapjack (who is grey/blond and about 7 weeks old). I am against this, owing to the threat it puts on Flapjack and the result of having 6 baby hamsters which will be cute but undoubtedly homeless.

Things on my mind include....

• worries about my parents and friends, etc. Some serious, some not so serious.
• sadness at the amount of homework I have to do this weekend.
• amusement at the thought of tidying my room.
• congratulations to the brilliant Steve and beautiful Rose.
• wishes which should not be spoken outloud.

I hope I've been able to sum up everything needed. I have to go now. I might be back later. xxx

the ceiling

I've been critisised for not blogging so I am trying to rectify this. I'm sorry. I've been busy and I had nothing nice to say. But I have nice things to say now.
So, today I've been introduced to Bananaphone and EveryoneElseHasHadMoreSexThanMe. Both very lovely songs. I also saw the beautiful Rose.... Slept for nearly two hours earlier..... I actually have nothing to say. I've been writing lots of poems in my head. Drawing lots of pictures in my head. I have been doing mnay things in my head, so there has not been much time to do phyisical things, which means I have nothing decent to write about. Once I have sorted out the things maybe I will be able to translate them into words...oooh! Wouldn't that be nice!

im so high im never low!

how do i make a list with other people's blog names on it?

too much homework. but i like the beautiful blogs everyone's posted about the BBQ.

xxx

in their shoes...

Hi! Keeping up the song titles, although I doubt anyone will know the songs...but it does not matter. Urm, things I've gotta say. I went to France which wasn't all bad. I got stung by a jellyfish (which I thought was very cool, if a bit painfull, although i was sorry for the jellyfish. it must've been SO scared!). By the way I'm sorry if I haven't blogged recently, though I have been home for 4 days now! Basically I was doing all my holiday homework (drama coursework, history essay, english coursework). I've now done the drama and history. Working on the english...slowly. But what I was going to say is that today the best thing I did was go to Helen's Bloggers' BBQ; where I met loads of lovely people, played some very intresting games, ate good food and almost learnt to juggle (which I am very excited about). I would like to make contact with lots of the lovely people I met, cos they are lovely (as I did say). I've got to say my account of the BBQ might not be very good, but I'm not very good at describing real things (not to great at describing unreal things either). We had some fun with shoes and there was a gorgeous massage-line going on. I'm very tired now- did you spike all the drinks Helen? Lots of people seem to be tired. Hope everybody got home safe and I will look out for your blogs in the future! xxx