Question 39

Question 39: who am I?
Answer: You can't know because it's classified information, and I don't want to upset Steve or have any perverts chasing after me (yes I am so attractive perverts WOULD chase after me if I divulged any information so ner!).
Kisses....

peaches come in a can

Only Saturday and Sunday to go. I cannot wait until Monday. Coffee, my sweet coffee. I cannot wait.

On to more present matters- today was very nice and summery, wasn't it? While waiting for the bus I decided I would go kiting when I got home. I got on the bus and literally bumbed into Rose. We discussed my kiting idea. We decided that Rose should join me. I got off the bus and toodled off home. Half an hour later I met Rose and Connie on the common and we flew the kite. Connie is a natural- very good. Rose had brought chocolate chip cookies- which was disaterus for me! But we carefully took out the chocolate bits and I got biscuit. Yum! So, we flew the kite and it was all very fun. Bonnie (the dog) was very cute! She was very good and didn't attack the kite, like some other evil dogs.

This next week holds some interesting events. . .
MONDAY- will see the return of coffee to my world, and a bank holiday
TUESDAY- will see the return of coffee at break time at school, and a drama trip!
WEDNESDAY- will see my French oral- eek! AND a 5km run. Now I am not much of a runner. I have gone jogging about 10 times in my life, so I am not well prepared for this, but it's for cancer research and I figure I should do it. If anybody wants to sponser me email me and I (and cancer research) will be very happy for your support. Lots of love to all.

BISOUS!

every day is a new day

There are six days to go until the end of April. I cannot wait. I am dying for a cup of coffee. There is school tomorrow, which I am looking forward to because it gives me a reason to leave the house nice and early and not get back until mid-afternoon. I will be able to read the Metro on the bus on the way to school everyday (a thing which I have missed immensly). I will be able to see my friends and there will be a time called "lunchtime" which is a clear indication telling you to eat lunch. I will, of course, spend time catching up with friends who have been uncontactable throughout the holidays. I will be able to give real hugs to those who need them. Cards will be played at "lunchtime". Of course, I will suffer immensely at "break" - the time when normally I have my second coffee. Woah! Now I have to go. I need to make lunch, find uniform, pack bag and do other school-y things.

it's such a waste to be wasted in the first place

Hello. I am sitting on the chair. My legs are dancing because I'm cold, and because I'm listening to pretty music. There are 11 days to go. It's good except 2 days from then I have my first GCSE thingy- French Oral. Not scary at all. (I am going to refrain from making bad jokes about oral sex... Axl Rose is an anagram for oral sex...he is a Guns N' Roses singer for any of you who are unlucky enough not to know.) There is streetlight outside the window next to me. It's kinda orange so I like it. Hugs.

A Mr Finger Tale

In the final few hours before Helen's departure from our little world, Helen and I were having a very pleasant chat on MSN. After a while Helen noticed that I was eating Marmite straight from the jar. (We didn't have any bread- can you really blame me?) In a vain attempt to distract her from this I told her a small story about a man named Mr Finger. In tribute to her, and to jog your memories, that she will come back, I present A Mr Finger Tale: Mr Finger meets Miss Me...

Mr Finger was innocently sitting next to his lovely Marmite house, when he suddenly realized he was extremely lonely.
"What can I do to combat this loneliness?" he asked himself, and after a few moments' thought he came up with a marmalade-tastic idea! He would go to the youth centre and see if there were any nice young ladies with whom he could share a cup of coffee.

So, he toddled off to the youth club, still feeling slightly blue. He hoped to find a beautiful, long-haired goddess, and he was not disappointed...

'Well hello there!' thought Mr Finger, spotting a gorgeous lady-finger standing next to a conveniently placed jar of marmalade. He sidled up to her and said, in his most gentlemanly voice, "Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee, Miss...er..."
"Miss Me," replied the finger, smiling a smile that lit up her glittering eyes. "But I'm afraid I would not care to join you for a cup of coffee. I don't drink coffee, you see?"
Mr Finger was crestfallen. He summoned up his courage to try again- perhaps she really hated coffee, but would like very much to have a quick drink with him. He cleared his throat and she turned back to face him.
"May I buy you a drink? It's very hot in here," he said, nervously.
"Oh," said Miss Me, obviously flattered. "I'm sorry but I don't drink alcohol either."
Mr Finger was getting very frustrated. Talk about mixed signals! She was flirting with him but refusing every offer he made!
"Could I take you out for lunch, perhaps?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate.
Miss Me frowned. "Unfortunately I don't like lunch either." But upon seeing Mr Finger's face fall she leant forwards and whispered in his ear. "I'll tell you something I do, dear. I like fucking."

Mr Finger stared at her for a moment. He'd just met this girl, now she was inviting him to bed. He couldn't accept. She was obviously on drugs or drunk. There could be no other reason for her to make him an offer of this kind. He'd have to decline. What was he thinking? Of course he'd say yes!
Mr Finger and Miss Me went quickly back to Mr Finger's house and quickly their playful fondling laid the path for full blown sex. Mr Finger hadn't had sex this good for years! As the room grew warmer the air started to go hazy and very soon Mr Finger and Miss Me were panting next to each other on Mr Finger's glorious Marmite jar.
"That was fantastic," murmured Mr Finger and rolled to face Miss Me. "How I lived before I met you, I'll never know!" But as he leant over to kiss her he found tears flowing down her cheeks.
"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is it something I said?" he asked, anxiously.
"No," Miss Me sobbed. "It's just, I suddenly remembered I'm a devout Catholic!" and she burst into a fresh set of tears.
"There there," Mr Finger tried in vain to comfort her. "It's okay. No-one will know." He sighed, this wasn't working. After a moment's hesitation he took a gulp of air and got down on his first joint.
"Miss Me," he said, solemnly. "Will you marry me?"
Miss Me giggled.
"I'd be Mrs Finger-Me," she said, laughing.
"Of course!" Mr Finger replied. "It will be good for publicity. What do you do anyway?"
"I'm a primary school teacher," she said, looking slightly worried.
"Don't worry!" Mr Finger grinned, "I'm sure the parents won't mind."


So Miss Me became Mrs Finger-Me and Mr Finger was very happy. They got married in Jerusalem and embarked on a exotic honeymoon.
They stayed in a gorgeous castle and had rampant sex, like bunny rabbits. Their routine was pretty simple. Every morning Mr Finger would get out of bed, Mrs Finger-Me would call over to him and he would quickly return to bed.



Mr Finger enjoyed himself immensely. At last, after a long and extremely eventful honeymoon Mr and Mrs Finger returned home to Mr Finger's Marmite. After a couple of months Mrs Finger-Me was blessed with four lovely children. They called them Procris, Cephalus, Ellie and Bob.



And, until next time, they lived happily ever after.


Credits
Photographer: Henry
Background-holder: Luke
Models: Emmie, Luke
Storyline: Emmie

visual aid

This is the first picture I've ever managed to get onto the blog. Who knows what wonders I will be able to show you in the coming posts? Anyway, this is only a quickie. I have a visual aid to the marmite discussion.

interlude

Hello my lovelies. Just a little note to say I haven't died from lack-of-coffee. The, so called, holidays are going well. I feel like I'm working a lot. Mayeb I am? All for a good cause though. Right now I am eating pecan nuts for lunch. (This is the most exciting thing I've done today so far, except perhaps marmite on corncakes! Woo yay! I love marmite.) Yesterday Luke and I did a test involving marmite and vegemite. We both agreed marmite is better because it's easier to spead and is stronger. However, the vegemite has been in the cupboard ever since I can remember, so that might have altered results slightly. In other news, I've decided I don't want to use marmalade because it's too sticky. I think jelly would be more amusing. (You know what I mean...) I found a pretty cartoon but I don't know how to put it on, so you may have that to look forward to, if I work it out. Talking of working, I must be off. Lots of love and hugs and kisses and other pretty things. If you get stressed try standing on your head. It's very calming. Oh, and running water is just the coolest thing! I love it. It's so pretty and cool and gentle. Mmmmm. Yeah. Huggles.