the little coffee freak

Random

2008-06-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

While coffee is amazing, green tea is awesome too!

experiment

2007-04-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

We don’t always know why we do things, and often we do stupid things, without ever knowing why. Being the knowledgeable child that I am, I, sadly, quite often know why I do stupid things; mostly I do stupid things out of boredom and curiosity, and stupidity, of course. Anyway,yesterday while writing my note ‘squiggles’, my feet were covering the program bar, meaning I didn’t notice that the few people who were on MSN were talking to me and hence I appeared to ignore them. This offended them, leading them to be grumpy at me, which sucked, so I left. Not wanting to go back to work, and too lazy to do anything useful, I decided to do an experiment I had dreamt up since kayaking on Tuesday. I will open brackets for a brief explanation… (Explanation: I’m doing my 2 star and part of the theory needing to be learnt for this is how to deal with Hypothermia. I knew most of it from PLG, but a few things were revelations to me.) Anyway, all this knowledge I had accumulated about hypothermia was solely theoretical (as, unlike hyperthermia- more commonly known as heat exhaustion- I’d never had to deal with it, or anything even close as far as I knew). As the house was empty and I had nothing better to do (this is a lie- I had plenty of better things to do, I just chose not to do them), I decided to go ahead with my experiment, which I originally called the Cold Bath Experiment. It’s pretty self-explanatory. There was one bath filled with cold water, a stopwatch, a thermometer and a results table already drawn up. Oh, and me. (I did say it was a stupid thing!)
So I took my temperature and jotted it down, then hopped into the bath. It was cold. (This was the first thing that struck me.) While in the bath (for a full 90 minutes) I sang DofE songs, recited my French Oral (because we all know Antonin Artaud is a complete dude and highly appropriate for the bathtub…ew) and shivered quite a bit. I was resolved not to allow my core temp to drop below 36ºC, as 35ºC is the hypothermic onset and I didn’t want to be dealing with that. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the body’s ability to reserve and create heat.

Sitting up to my armpits in cold water, my core temperature went up by over 0.5ºC in the first twenty minutes, and it actually took an hour for my body to drop to the temperature it was before I got into the cold water. I was wholly impressed and decided to stay in for another half hour to see if the rate I was cooling changed. Within 15 minutes I had dropped to the lowest I was prepared to go, but I stayed in out of curiosity and was again surprised to find that I was shivering enough to remain around 36ºC. Having been submerged in cold water for an hour and a half, very bemused, but with teeth chattering so bad I’d had to stop informing the bathroom about other theatre in 1930s Paris, I got out, drained the water and preceded to carefully dry myself and dress. I had assumed that upon being dry and clothed I would warm up pretty quickly, but taking a measurement 10 minutes after getting out I found my core temperature had actually dropped to 35.4ºC. This (and there is no other way of putting it) pissed me off. Why, when I had so artfully managed to maintain heat in the water, did I suddenly lose it when dressed in warm clothes (well trousers and a t-shirt)? Being annoyed I donned my cool black and white cow socks and my PLG hoodie (which is just so damn warm I hate to part from it), and hoped for an improvement in heat. I ate high energy food and made some hot chocolate. For a while heat came slowly, then the sugar kicked in and I warmed up.

So, what lessons did I learn from this stupid thing?
It’s true that shivering keeps you warm. (I had been told in the past that shivering actually increases the amount of heat the body can generate from about 70watts to 400! This meant absolutely NOTHING to me (‘cause I’m bad at physics) but now I see the power of shivering (pun not intended, but shamefully amusing to me (I am very very very bored!))).
Water is a better insulator than air. (I’m not sure about the scientific truth behind this finding- it might be utter crap. If you’re a scientist, help me out.)
But the lesson I’m gonna use most in my day-to-day life is that even when you feel absolutely fucking freezing, chances are you’re ok. I mean, during my time in the water my feet went white, I shivered uncontrollably at times, and I got incredibly sleepy (although that might have been down to Artaud- he isn’t the most interesting guy. I mean, he was great two terms ago but really I could be happier moving on to other things to think about…) BUT I was fine. I didn’t get cold enough for hypothermia to ‘set in’, and really it was just a joke.

Conclusion- that was a stupid experiment and should never be repeated. No benefit will come from it and you’ll just get bloody bored. My only regret is that I didn’t measure my pulse throughout, as it would have been nice to be able to compare pulse rate to increase/decrease in temperature. The human body is awesome. As you will appreciate, I was re-he-he-he-he-he-hearly bored! (I love Dr Cox! Scrubs forever!) Please don’t judge me. I know it was a stupid thing to do (as I said at the beginning) and could have been dangerous, but I had it all under control (and I was really bored!) The moral is- don’t let me get bored. In fact, really, this wouldn’t have happened if I had been sitting like a normal person 3 hours ago and had seen people talking to me on MSN… But (as Akin kindly, noted about me) I hate sitting normally. Now I’m going to do a sensible thing and have some tea- once I’ve told Vodka off for trying to eat my necklace!

Yours as ever,
Titch xxxx (because we’re in a frenchy mood, down here… ‘we’ being me and my hamster… who is, in fact, ignoring me in favour of a cardboard box… why am I still talking!?! Au revoir…)

erm... hi

2007-02-16T00:25:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd pop in to say hi and reassure people that I am still alive- just more quietly than before. Life is busy. No coffee. Um, yeah- it's BAD. Seriously kids, don't give up coffee. It hurts. Really, really hurts. Physical pain. Glad I told you that. Hopefully it will persuade you never to give up coffee (or better, never to start drinking coffee). While I'm on the subject of addictions (which I vaguely am) PLEASE don't abuse your bodies with evil drugs/alcohol/smoking. It's bad! It is. You don't wanna go there. Ok, that's it. I'll try to blog better soon. (By soon I mean within the next month.)
Be good. (And if you're not good be safe ;D)
x

camping

2007-01-06T15:45:00.001-08:00

It is thanks to the great Facebook that I am sitting here with a glazed look on my face and a deep desire to go camping. (Well, it could also partly be thanks to the yummy wine I'm drinking... but I blame Facebook!)
As a child I spent the year dreaming of camping, except for the summer when I was camping. As a not-child I still spend a lot of the year dreaming of camping. Over the years the Durdle Door campsite (my childhood campsite) has changed and adapted... it is now a caravan site with just three camping fields, as opposed to the six or seven that once existed. But I still think fondly of it far too often. I miss camping. I love camping. Ever been camping? Tell me your camping stories....

A Stupid Idea If Ever I Heard One

2006-12-28T15:24:00.001-08:00

The Little Coffee Freak has had many a stupid idea in her time, but this, I believe, is her most stupid.

The 2007 Manifesto of a Little Coffee Freak
From the 1st January until the 31st December no coffee will be drunk, no coffee beans will be consumed. The reason for this is that I might be chosen to go to Romania to help in an orphanage for a couple of weeks over the summer and IF I do get chosen then I will need to raise £1000. If I don't get chosen then I have decided I will bite back my pride and donate the money to the project anyway. As the project is in the summer I will only be able to donate half the sponsorship money to it this summer- and I will be evil and demand half the money raised at summer. (I have NO doubt in my mind that I won't manage this.) The other half would either go to Cancer Research, to the same Romanian Project next year (it's an annual project) or to university-and-gap-year-funds.

Woah, now I have to go. Byebye. If you want to sponsor me please email! x

Snapshots of Emmieland

2006-12-20T15:53:00.001-08:00

Hello children. As I cannot remember, and cannot be bothered to tell you about, my last few weeks I thought I'd offer a beautifully illustrated post, providing literal snapshots of my life...
Before the holidays, Helen came to see me in school! It was superyayful and very nice of her to come. :) Extending her niceness, she brought chocolates with her! We ate chocolates and I drank some coffee. Then we both went off to choir practise where she was treated like a famous superstar.
She sat in the back with me (where we both struggled to see the conducter but meh) and we whispered while we were not singing. Then, when we got to the little-break for juice and cookies the conducter ambushed her and they had a very cheery conversation. Once everyone was seated, a small speech was made about Helen and how fantabulous she is. We might even make a choral trip over to ol' Cambridge to see her sing! WOO YAY! Helen rocks! After the small speech Helen hurried off to the pub (to work, of course).

Wow, right, another lovely snapshot of life in Emmieland- a cocktail party was held chez Tessa. I went there straight from a DofE training session so was slightly late, and I didn't actually drink a drop of alcohol all night, so it was an odd cocktail party on my part but still highly enjoyable. I ate a lot of fruit and then some breadsticks. Music was played and singing occured. No windows were broken, which meant nobody cut their feet this time. :) As it was a cocktail party there were guys in tuxedos and girls in pretty dresses (myself included, but I'm afraid there are no pictures of that). Examples shown below are Gabie (whose 'boyfriend' I am) and Jamie (whose covers I tried to steal during the night and failed because he was awake and said boo, making me yelp and fall over backwards in fright).

The final snapshot I'm offering from my life is of a hamster, Luke's hamster, whose name I believe is Fudge, but I might be wrong about that. This snapshot is to say- LOOK! Hamsters are cute! That's about the entire point of it...

In other news, I went to Camden today and had fun doodling around there. Tomorrow, I am seeing Toby for coffee, art and sushi (because that's what we do in winter). I'm very excited because I'm going to a sushi place I've never been to before- YAY! The only downside I can see is that I will have to spend the entire day next to the Thames without going on it (or in it) once! (On Sunday, I was trying to learn a new skill, so capsized on purpose at least 10 times, then proceeded to capsize spectacularly while practising a skill I should have mastered by now! Luckily the instructer Albert saved me (interestingly under Albert bridge) by physically pulling me onto his boat. It was a mite bit chilly! Afterwards we had a Kayakers' Christmas Party which included party games, loads of food, tea (because it's important) and Christmas music. Ah, good times...) Anyway, if I don't blog before Christmas, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Bye bye....

Glory Days

2006-11-30T15:58:00.000-08:00

Bruce Springsteen is a dude. He wrote (actually I'm not sure he wrote it but he sang it and it's a damned good song) a song called Glory Days.

I had a friend was a big baseball player back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Saw him the other night at this roadsidebar
I was walking in and he was walking out
We went back inside sat down,
had a few drinks but all he kept talking about was
Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

There's a girl that lives up the block
Back in school she could turn all the boys' head
Sometimes an a Friday I'll stop by and have a few drinks
after she put her kids to bed
Her and her husband Bobby well they split up
I guess it's two years gone by now
We just sit around talking about the old times,
She says when she feels like crying she starts laughing thinking about
Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Think I'm going down to the well tonight
and I'm going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
but I probablywill
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of,
but time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days
Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

This song has been in my head all day long and it made me think lots and it made me very determined to appreciate the here and now for all it gives me. I know I say this all the time ("A sinner's life is filled with all these good intentions.") but it's better to try and fail than not bother at all, no? Part of this appreciating stuff involves getting to school on time (it made sense when I thought it) so tomorrow I am going to be good and get to school on time and also take a camera to school so I can take lots of prettiful pictures of prettiful things (this is a way of appreiciating them).

In other news: my bus crashed this morning, which was.... interesting. Anyway, I'd best be off. Hugs and kisses.

DRUMS and VODKA!

2006-11-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

Hello children. Recently a lot has been going on. I turned 17. I am now extremely old and obviously responsible. If pedestrians and road users are unlike I might be unleashed on the road (this will probably not be for a while as I do have work to do and have done absolutely nothing to find an instructer, etc). However, before I managed to get round to turning 17, Fan came round for coffee and cake (I'd promised him both and I kept my promise. :D My room was tidy (which is a rare occurance) so Fan was allowed in. As pictures, we played the drums, and then we played with Vodka Then we got inventive and played with Vodka on the drums! I bought 40 sachets of instant cappuccino, which tastes SO GOOD! It's gorgeous. Anyway, I have tried to interwieve (?) pictures of my evening with Fan into the post. Other things that happened were... I gave up Theatre Studies AS. NOT because it's a Mickey Mouse subject- I love it- but because I couldn't cope with all the subjects I was doing. Other fun things.... erm, I've joined a DofE group to do my Silver expeditions and my Gold. I'm gonna do them in a canoe! YAY! I loooove water. Hm, not much else has been a-going on. I've been working thousands, but that's not new. Oh yeah. On the 24th October I started kayaking... so about a month ago... on the Thames! It's amazing and very fun.... wet though- lots of innuendo. I've gone fully in twice and partly in a couple of times- all on purpose of course! I saw the Red Hot Chille Peppers and Keane and some super cool people called Bellowhead (or something like that). I went to a recording of Later with Jools Holland and it was very good- and completely free! This BloggerBeta thing is fun... they're working the alliteration! Rock on and smile! Huggles. Here is a pretty sunflower because it's bright and yayful! YAY!

Art...

2006-10-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

As the name suggests I have decided to tell you some of my actions in the most gorgeous little London. Many of you do not live in London anymore so I will have to explain some things.(Why would you want to NOT live in London?)

So, you all (hopefully) know the Tate Modern- former power station, on the Thames south bank. Currently an exhibition of the work of a Mr Carsten Höller. It consists of five massive slides, all of which are open for the public to use.

I woke up normal time (about 9ish) and started having breakfast before realising it was a silly idea and putting it back in the fridge. So I finished filling in an application form (I'm trying to get a Christmas job) and put on shoes, etc. Then I doodled off to the Tate with mother and brothers. We went on the slides and it was very fun. There was a lot of queuing but I suppose that doesn't matter.

As always with modern art, the question arises: is this art? The slides are very pretty in a metallic and twisty way. The angles they make with their surroundings are very pretty too. But, art should do more than just be pretty, no? I mean, some of the best art is not pretty, just very expressive.

VODKA RIDE!

2006-10-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

Due to the speed at which my delightful hamster moves and the slow speed at which the camera works, these pictures are not amazing. However, they are the best pictures I have of her (as of yet) so look and say "Aaaw!"

This picture best displays her markings. Shamefully it also displays a worn t-shirt (belonging to Luke, but comandeered by... erm... myself), and my held-together-with-celotape-phone (which I love). I just want you to know, though, that I have NEVER seen a hamster with three distinct colours in their fur.

That is a picture of her running away from the camera... silly child. And this picture is the only one I have of her face. I promise when I have better pictures I will show you them. Isn't she gorgeous?

Woah, okay. Time has run out. I must toodle off downstairs and be quiet in my bedroom. Goodnight. xxx

breakfast

2006-10-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

For a long, long time I have been very skeptical of this thing commonly known as "breakfast". The main reason being that facing anything with any flavour at all when you've just got up is disgusting in my mind. However, while watching Constantine today, I ate some Special K that I found in the cupboard and it was very tasty. Anyway, this is just a note to say that I am trying to get some photos of Vodka that do her justice. Hugs to you all. xxx

Vodka

2006-09-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

I love vodka (the drink). I think it tastes good. I found some 50% vodka the other day (Friday) at my friend's house and that was fun. Vodka and coke is also very nice. Today I got a new hamster, she isn't a Cake-replacement. I miss Cake. But no, this hamster is called Vodka. She is beautiful in a way completely different to Cake. I will take pictures of her and post them.
Hugs.

Thing of the Day: NSCWEC

2006-09-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

For the public good I am going to release a magical recipe. This recipe has been only recently descovered by me and is doing wonders. I do not recommend the following recipe for lactose intolerant folks or non-coffee likers, or people with allergies to any of the ingrediants, or people who like to count calories.

Nick's Special Coffee With Extra Coffee
I have a friend called Nick. He is lovely. He has dark hair and eyes. He is just 10 days younger than me. He likes to climb and do Army type things. He is great. Caffeine has a bigger effect on him than alcohol, which is why he does not put a lot of coffee into his special coffee. I, however, like coffee very much and it has not such a big effect on me, thus I use extra.

Take one cup of milk.
Heat it up to a just-too-hot-to-drink-heat.
Add three teaspoons of Green and Blacks' Hot Chocolate Mix (obtainable from Tesco, Sainsbury)
Add two/three teaspoons of instant coffee (any brand)
Add a small amount of maple syrup (not available from Tesco, but available from Sainsbury)
Add a dusting of ground cinnamon and a dusting of nutmeg (I found these in the jam-cupboard but I'm sure you can find them elsewhere)
Stir with a spoon and drink.

I have never tasted anything so fantastically brilliant in my life. It is AMAZING! The first time I had it I relaxed completely- it was the most relaxed I have been in years. Each sip was a little taste of heaven. I melted into it and just drifted in aimless joy through the warm bubbly mixture. It's great.

Enjoy with care. Too much coffee is bad for your health. Do not enjoy before playing sport. Try not to burn yourself.

Quick post

2006-09-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

I have ten minutes. I must be quick.

Most Exciting Events Recently: I got pyjamas for the first time in ten years. They're pinstripe blue and white. They are about ten times too big for me but I love them to bits. Once I've put some elastic in the trousers they will stop falling down when I stand up.
Fun Things I Got Up To Today: I had Red Bull for breakfast, did my homework, went to Tesco, saw the lovely Maxi, Anais and Soti, remembered to have dinner and watched Scrubs.
At School Things Go: well. I'm doing well in all my subjects so far (which isn't hard as I've only had two days of lessons, but still it's better to start off well than not. If I was struggling already I would be in a bit of poo, wouldn't I?)
Generally: things are good. I fixed things with Anais, who is my alterego so it's good that we are friends again.

That's probably about it. I didn't need ten minutes. I will post soon if I remember. Hugs and kisses.

It's cold in space.

2006-08-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

Hello there. I am still here. See me? Here? Well, I am...here I mean. It's very cold here, where I am. Hane came round today. We ate Burmese food. It was nice. I go back to school on Wednesday- it's awful! Don't tease me too much, eh? Hearts and kisses.

100th post

2006-07-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

When I clicked the button to make this post I realised it will be and is my 100th post, which makes it special, no? So, as I sit here thinking over my last 100 posts many memories come to mind. I remember my first ever picture post. It featured a jar of marmite. Oh marmite. I really like marmite. Here is the picture again, for your enjoyment.
Isn't it beautiful? Anyway, my reason for posting was actually to say I won't be able to talk much over the next few weeks but I'm not deserting you. Oooh. We're eating early tonight so I have to go and be eating. Hugs.

it's NOT hot!

2006-07-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I last blogged. My excuses include that it wasn't working anyway and I was away. Anyway- here's what I've been up to.

Firstly I have some sad news. Many of you do not know my hamster Cake. I've been meaning to put a picture of him on for ages. I can't find it now. Well, Cake died. Cake is dead. I miss him every day. He died on the 7th July 2006 at about 5pm.

On a lighter note I went camping for a few days. It was very fun. There was a lot of alcohol, a guitar, not very much sleep. I saw a wild rabbit and we nearly got kicked off the campsite. It was great.

I saw Richard from Kent. We posted a letter and, well didn't really do much. It was nice though. Thank you, dear.

I took my Grandma to France for a week. She slept a lot and read a bit. I went swimming lots and did the shopping, cooking, etc. It was calm.

COFFEE- Just a small note on coffee. In France my Grandma insisted on buying DECAF coffee. DECAF!!! It was awful. I would have died from shock if they didn't have such gorgeous coffee icecream to keep me going.

Today I woke up at 6am (silly child that I am). I kicked everyone out of bed at the apropriate times and made them go to school/ work. Then I made my way over to Lee and saw Lex. We played bass guitar, listened to music and had brandy for lunch. It was nice.
Later I'm going to play tennis. It's not too hot to play tennis. I promise you it isn't. So yeah, that's about it. Sorry this post is very undertailed and stuff but I'm a lazy little thing. Also Luke should be home very soon and I'm going to force him to play tennis with me.

Hugs.

can we fix it?

2006-07-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

This is just a thing trying to make my stupid blog work. Huggles.

weekend!

2006-07-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hi Kids. How goes it? I present a recap of my weekend!

FRIDAY:
Josey arrived at 730. We went to Clapham Junction for to have a haircut (her, not me) and CHEAP coffee, which we found exceptionally hard to find. Having had some coffee we toodled off to Greenwich and walked about, looking at the market stalls and the Cutty Sark. Then we caught a very hot bus back to Josey's house. At Josey's house we showered (seperately) and got dressed for Anais' party. At Anais' party there was supposedly no alcohol. Max however managed to drink a bottle and a half of vodka and a lot of champagne. I looked after him and stopped him doing anything too stupid. He was kinda upset but he cheered up as the night went on. There was dancing and singing aplenty. Just before midnight I went home and spent the night in a bed- my bed! Such luxury! :D

SATURDAY:
On Saturday I went to school (shocking, I know) for Founder's Day. I did some abismal Scottish dancing, saw SarahHB and looked at the lab which is being redecorated. Then, with GabbyB I wandered barefoot back to her house from which we wandered over to Rob and Dog's house for watching football and trampapolining (football-shit. trampapolining- fantastic!). GabbyB and Jessie changed into their party costumes (they went as whores. Lots of Anne Summers gear. I was designated the one to make sure what they were wearing (which left little to the imagination) stayed on). After the football we all bussed over to Tessa's house where the party was just getting started. There was SO MUCH alcohol. Everyone (except me) got completely hammered. Lots of dancing. Lots of singing. I spent a lot of the night in a pot. When the amount of alcohol in peoples' systems started getting dangerous I filled a vodka bottle with water and passed it round. Some people took swipes at me. It was funny 'cause they often were the ones falling over. Dog took six gulps of water before realising it was water. He then started playing hide-and-seek. Tessa got extremely panicky that he was going to pass out (because he was exceptionally drunk). Eventually we convinced him to sit on the sofa and he fell asleep/passed out pretty quickly. As people started falling asleep the other non-sleepers and I went out to the garden and watched the sunrise with Tessa and Miles. Oh wait, I guess this was sunday...

SUNDAY:
Watched the sunrise with Tessa and Miles. Somehow it got very light and we didn't see the sun actually rise, but meh. We cleaned up the bottles, glasses, sweetwrappers, crisp wrappers, etc. We decided to make pancakes. (Tessa was still slightly drunk- at 5am.) Finding the eggs in the fridge to be two months of out date we went out to find some eggs. So, I wandered barefoot (again) down to the nearest petrol station and we purchased some eggs after some confusion involving egg and bacon sanwiches. We then made pancakes, which were lumpy but FANTASTIC! Valerie and Junior managed to drag their arses out of bed at 6 to eat pancakes and throw one at the ceiling. I made tea and coffee for a few people, having a gorgeous cup of coffee myself. Then we tidied up the mess from the pancakes and everyone dumped themselves in the living room to watch Mr & Mrs Smith. I grabbed 45mins of sleep during the film but woke up when Dog (who was sharing the soft thing with me) pushed me off in his sleep. Once we were all awake we ate crisps and water for breakfast in the garden. Many people were hung over.
We discussed what to do on Sunday, as we had planned to go to Thorpe Park, but decided not to go and to hang out at Rob and Dogs' house instead. Everyone went home and showered quickly then we all met again at Rob and Dogs'. Much trampapolining ensued with bikinis and water! Ah it was good. We were completely soaked. I was wearing Dog's shorts and a bikini top anyway so it was fine. We gave Dog presents on the trampoline (as it was his birthday). Then we had dinner and cake. Then we went back on the trampoline! Dog went to bed. He sleeps a LOT. I stargazed with some others, played guitar while other slept, curled up on the floor and fell asleep.

MONDAY:
Woke up and found I was freezing. Lacking a jumper myself I donned Rob's jumper (which was nearly as big as my dress) and ate some bread. I then went on the trampoline (again). When Dog, Tessa and GabbyB got up I persuaded them to join me. Once most people had buggered off to work/school/home Tessa, GabbyB and I went over to Camden and did Camdenish things. I bought a ring that actually fits me and a fairy that is SO cute! I tried to buy Fight Club but failed because they couldn't get the security tag off. Then we went home. Now I am home.

I have slept 13 hours in the past 72. I've only really eaten bread and fruit. It is VERY hot, but it's okay. Hugs.

pleasure post three!

2006-06-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

I present pleasure post three. You may notice this features a female: Miss Keira Knightly. This is because she is completely beautiful and I love her to bits! Again there are two pictures, both LOVELY! I particularly like her in Love, Actually. She's pretty and I like her. I hope this post is as pleasurable as the other two. Who knows which other beautiful people may get a post dedicated to them, famous and real! If you think you deserve a post poke me.
In other news today I saw my lovely Habiba and her gorgeous little brother, whose name I cannot spell. He's nearly three and he is is SO cute! He's lovely! He likes piggybacks and spent the good part of an hour on my back. He nearly fell asleep there! Steve popped round after Thorpe Park. Now I'm being called to cook dinner for my own brothers. Bye bye.

--- -. .-.- . .. .... .- -.. .- -.. .-. . .- --

2006-06-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

So, I have finished my exams. For the happiness of those who haven't finished I'm not going to rub it in. These exam things don't last that long and I, for one, think you're all fantastic!

Yesterday I went shopping. I went to many a-shop, including Ann Summers, which had a sale on. Some interesting things brought there. I went to H&M which was fun 'cause I like H&M and 'cause the guy at the till was very nice. Some birthday presents were brought, including a thong (the guy the thong is for is a complete lightweight and it is believed that he can be convinced to wear it after a few drinks) and the CUTEST cup with dogs on it for Dog. I got served in a pub, but only had one drink ('cause I'm good :D).

Today I woke up nice and early and spoke about hamsters in my mum's school (she teaches Year 1 kids) with Cake as my prop! He was loved by all, except the TA. I then returned home, made a mess in the kitchen trying to make iced coffee. I had icecream and yoghurt and cold coffee for lunch, while watching the second half of Fight Club (because I love it!). Went online, played chess with Dave, read a couple of blogs. That's about it so far. Later I am doing babysitting duties for some kids but I might get off early enough to go out for dinner! Which would be fun. Anyway, I really need to tidy the kitchen and my bedroom. *sigh*

Lots of love and hugs and kisses.

pleasure post two!

2006-06-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

Following pleasure post one Steve said an interesting thing:
"well, give it about 20 or so years, and he won't be looking so great... Enjoy it while you can." I'm not even going to comment on Richard's EVIL comment. To Steve's comment I have to say, I wish to differ. Thus I present pleasure post two, which has a point other than being pleasurable. Pleasure post two proves that we can gain pleasure from people's gorgeous looks even once they are past their prime.
Christian Slater was a born in the late 60s. Now he is in his forties and, no offense to him, but he was more beautiful in the past.
I don't know where the first picture is from, but the second is from the film Heathers, which is a really good film. I love it to bits! Anyway, now I must be off. I hope pleasure post two brings as much, if not more, pleasure as pleasure post one. Love to all.

pleasure post

2006-06-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

Hello kids. Today I am going to bring pleasurable pictures to the world of those people who like the pictures I show. I present Johnny Depp.

Oh isn't he lovely? I believe that picture is from the film Secret Window, in which he is beautiful consistantly. And next JD in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Alright, that is the extent of my pictures. I hope it was pleasurable for all. Hugs aplenty!

current affairs

2006-06-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

Currently I am involved in no affairs... so far as I know. But yeah.
FOOTBALL! Everybody seems to have failed to notice that the WORLD CUP is currently in progress. (Except Steve- well done Steve. I'm proud of you.) Admittedly you may not be football fans but COME ON GUYS! This is the World Cup! It happens once every 4 years. The last time the world cup happened I was in my pre-teen years. That's how long ago it was! France have not scored a goal in the World Cup for 8 years! Eight years! That is a bloody long time! I watched the England vs Paraguay match on Saturday and was VERY disappointed in our performance. The Cote D'Ivoire vs Argentina was, I think, the best match so far. Brazil were shockingly boring.
EXERCISE! I went kiting the other day. There wasn't much wind but it was nice. The sky was all blue and my kite is blue so it was very pretty! I kited barefoot, which was especially nice because it meant that the exercise was more multisensual. I love the feel of fresh grass between my toes.
EXAMS! Yes, I'm doing them. I have maybe seven left. So far they've all gone decently, I guess. I will never do another History paper, another question on the lives of ancient Romans. I will never have another Maths lesson. Ever. In my life. I'm really sad about that. I like maths, freak that I am.
VIOLENCE! I got punched in the face by Gabby yesterday. I got home and Henry pointed out I had a black eye. I was very amused. Gabby was very sorry. It was an accident, after all.
BOOKS! I've reading Catch-22. It's good. It's fun. I read it on the bus, coming home from school after evil, wicked exams. It cheers me up, but I am easily amused.
That must be it as I can think of no more things to say. Good luck to all those doing exams. I love you all lots and lots. Be good. Hugs.

pictorial post

2006-05-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

The time has come when I've decided to put some pretty things online. Thus I present three wonderful pictures.

Firstly I show my card tower. It may not be as impressive or big as those built by Ol' Dave (Dave C- the one with the less impressive hair), but I am damned proud of it. I managed to put two whole cards in WITHOUT BLUETACK before it fell over. You may laugh but that was an achievement for me. What you see in the background is a fantastic rugby ball, which Luke recieved for his birthday once from a friend... and a set of wooden drawers. Oh, and some paper; I believe it to be some homework, which is now long completed and handed in. This is a very old picture, but I wanted to show off my card tower skills.

Yum, next I show a flower. This flower is a lovely and very gorgeous lily which was found very cheaply in Tescos (I LOVE TESCOS!), then lived in a vase by the curtains for a week or so, and managed to stain the curtain lots and lots. It's okay though 'cause the curtain is super old, and vaguely patterned. So, overall it doesn't matter all that much. The point is, I took a picture of one of these lilies and this is that picture.

Finally I show some glasses. This picture was taken in the South of France, last summer. The glasses were bought from a beautiful town called Biot, which is very sweet. The best thing about this place is the glass-making factory. You can stand and watch sexy French guys making lots of gorgeous glasswear. It's brilliant! The second best thing about this place is the bus service- they run on time! This is not quite as hormone-driven as the best thing, but still, it's amazing!

So, that's it, my pictorial post of the week. I hope you've enjoyed it. Lots of love and hugs to all. Yours titch xxxx

barely titled

2006-05-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

Thought of the day: A sweet lie is better than a bitter truth but it's not real.
Magical things of the day: Coffee...The Time Traveler's Wife (this is a book by Audrey Niffenegger)...

That's it. I apologise for the shear shortness of recent posts. When I have something wonderful to say I will say it. Until the I will leave you with thoughts of how sacred promises are and how two small words can change your life forever.

My Recent Thievings!

2006-05-15T23:59:00.000-07:00

Being the thieving little dog that I am, I have stolen this of Helen, who stole it off Sophie. I do hope nobody minds. However, now this seems like a good idea to contribute to the blog without extensive effort and thinking.

Six things in your room:
1. Cake, my hamster. He is so gorgeous sometimes I wish I was a hamster so I could make sweet hamster love to him. As it is I'll have to make do with men...or women...
2. My CD rack- for music.
3. Piano, acoustic guitar, electric guitar and drumkit! All old and slightly worn out but they are alright things and they make enough noise to keep me happy.
4. My candle by which I can write candlelit letters...and burn things!
5. My school bag and school stuff- essential for school stuff.
6. My little set of drawers which contain all sorts of treasures- letters, beads, needles, pills, pens, etc

Six things you say most:
1. Woo yay!
2. Je ne suis pas pret!
3. Attends!
4. Je t'aime.
5. Sorry.
6. What day is it? What am I doing? (variants of this)

Six things you can't live without:
1. COFFEE!
2. MUSIC!
3. FRIENDS!
4. BUSES- because I spend my life on them.
5. Means of communication- internet, postal service, etc
6. Hugs

Have you ever:
1. been out of the country? Yep
2. Been to a bonfire? Yes! One with petrol! You should not trust an 11 year old Emmie with a petrol can!
3. Broken a bone? Arm while falling off a big rock. Collar bone while playing rugby (real, not tag)
4. Had a dream come true? No, thank God!
5. Had a crush? Just a couple :-)
6. Run away from home? Not on my feet.

Six things in the last 24 hours:
1. Been confused? Yup.
2. Cried? Not that I remember....
3. Felt stupid? All the time!
4. Missed someone? Yes!
5. Sang? Of course.
6. Talked to an ex? In the past 24 hours... maybe just...

Wahey! I finished! Aren't I good.

like a piece of cheese, but not

2006-05-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

Fact of the Day: Next Tuesday is National Orgasm Day. (Fun, yes? I mean, I'm not sure what we will all have to do to celebrate it...)
Historical Fact of the Day: Black Tulips are great. However, very expensive. Once, a long time ago, an onion-carrying-ship was transporting a black tulip bulb, which was worth about as much as it costed to buy two houses at the time. A member of the crew somehow mistook the bulb for an onion and ate it. Can you imagine that? Eating two-houses'-worth of food, in one sitting? In just four or five little bitefuls. It's scary, don't you think?
Thought of the Moment: Milk is gross, really gross. God, milk is so bad I would ban it if it wasn't so good for you (not for me though because I avoid it at all costs, except sometimes, very very rarely in my coffee...oh coffee)
Mood of the Day: melancholy but thankful we're all here at the end
Quote of the Day: Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.
Image of the Day: blue butterflies at Durdle Door campsite (because they're happy and I miss that)

Question 39

2006-04-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

Question 39: who am I?
Answer: You can't know because it's classified information, and I don't want to upset Steve or have any perverts chasing after me (yes I am so attractive perverts WOULD chase after me if I divulged any information so ner!).
Kisses....

peaches come in a can

2006-04-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

Only Saturday and Sunday to go. I cannot wait until Monday. Coffee, my sweet coffee. I cannot wait.

On to more present matters- today was very nice and summery, wasn't it? While waiting for the bus I decided I would go kiting when I got home. I got on the bus and literally bumbed into Rose. We discussed my kiting idea. We decided that Rose should join me. I got off the bus and toodled off home. Half an hour later I met Rose and Connie on the common and we flew the kite. Connie is a natural- very good. Rose had brought chocolate chip cookies- which was disaterus for me! But we carefully took out the chocolate bits and I got biscuit. Yum! So, we flew the kite and it was all very fun. Bonnie (the dog) was very cute! She was very good and didn't attack the kite, like some other evil dogs.

This next week holds some interesting events. . .
MONDAY- will see the return of coffee to my world, and a bank holiday
TUESDAY- will see the return of coffee at break time at school, and a drama trip!
WEDNESDAY- will see my French oral- eek! AND a 5km run. Now I am not much of a runner. I have gone jogging about 10 times in my life, so I am not well prepared for this, but it's for cancer research and I figure I should do it. If anybody wants to sponser me email me and I (and cancer research) will be very happy for your support. Lots of love to all.

BISOUS!

every day is a new day

2006-04-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

There are six days to go until the end of April. I cannot wait. I am dying for a cup of coffee. There is school tomorrow, which I am looking forward to because it gives me a reason to leave the house nice and early and not get back until mid-afternoon. I will be able to read the Metro on the bus on the way to school everyday (a thing which I have missed immensly). I will be able to see my friends and there will be a time called "lunchtime" which is a clear indication telling you to eat lunch. I will, of course, spend time catching up with friends who have been uncontactable throughout the holidays. I will be able to give real hugs to those who need them. Cards will be played at "lunchtime". Of course, I will suffer immensely at "break" - the time when normally I have my second coffee. Woah! Now I have to go. I need to make lunch, find uniform, pack bag and do other school-y things.

it's such a waste to be wasted in the first place

2006-04-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hello. I am sitting on the chair. My legs are dancing because I'm cold, and because I'm listening to pretty music. There are 11 days to go. It's good except 2 days from then I have my first GCSE thingy- French Oral. Not scary at all. (I am going to refrain from making bad jokes about oral sex... Axl Rose is an anagram for oral sex...he is a Guns N' Roses singer for any of you who are unlucky enough not to know.) There is streetlight outside the window next to me. It's kinda orange so I like it. Hugs.

A Mr Finger Tale

2006-04-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

In the final few hours before Helen's departure from our little world, Helen and I were having a very pleasant chat on MSN. After a while Helen noticed that I was eating Marmite straight from the jar. (We didn't have any bread- can you really blame me?) In a vain attempt to distract her from this I told her a small story about a man named Mr Finger. In tribute to her, and to jog your memories, that she will come back, I present A Mr Finger Tale: Mr Finger meets Miss Me...

Mr Finger was innocently sitting next to his lovely Marmite house, when he suddenly realized he was extremely lonely.
"What can I do to combat this loneliness?" he asked himself, and after a few moments' thought he came up with a marmalade-tastic idea! He would go to the youth centre and see if there were any nice young ladies with whom he could share a cup of coffee.

So, he toddled off to the youth club, still feeling slightly blue. He hoped to find a beautiful, long-haired goddess, and he was not disappointed...

'Well hello there!' thought Mr Finger, spotting a gorgeous lady-finger standing next to a conveniently placed jar of marmalade. He sidled up to her and said, in his most gentlemanly voice, "Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee, Miss...er..."
"Miss Me," replied the finger, smiling a smile that lit up her glittering eyes. "But I'm afraid I would not care to join you for a cup of coffee. I don't drink coffee, you see?"
Mr Finger was crestfallen. He summoned up his courage to try again- perhaps she really hated coffee, but would like very much to have a quick drink with him. He cleared his throat and she turned back to face him.
"May I buy you a drink? It's very hot in here," he said, nervously.
"Oh," said Miss Me, obviously flattered. "I'm sorry but I don't drink alcohol either."
Mr Finger was getting very frustrated. Talk about mixed signals! She was flirting with him but refusing every offer he made!
"Could I take you out for lunch, perhaps?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate.
Miss Me frowned. "Unfortunately I don't like lunch either." But upon seeing Mr Finger's face fall she leant forwards and whispered in his ear. "I'll tell you something I do, dear. I like fucking."

Mr Finger stared at her for a moment. He'd just met this girl, now she was inviting him to bed. He couldn't accept. She was obviously on drugs or drunk. There could be no other reason for her to make him an offer of this kind. He'd have to decline. What was he thinking? Of course he'd say yes!
Mr Finger and Miss Me went quickly back to Mr Finger's house and quickly their playful fondling laid the path for full blown sex. Mr Finger hadn't had sex this good for years! As the room grew warmer the air started to go hazy and very soon Mr Finger and Miss Me were panting next to each other on Mr Finger's glorious Marmite jar.
"That was fantastic," murmured Mr Finger and rolled to face Miss Me. "How I lived before I met you, I'll never know!" But as he leant over to kiss her he found tears flowing down her cheeks.
"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is it something I said?" he asked, anxiously.
"No," Miss Me sobbed. "It's just, I suddenly remembered I'm a devout Catholic!" and she burst into a fresh set of tears.
"There there," Mr Finger tried in vain to comfort her. "It's okay. No-one will know." He sighed, this wasn't working. After a moment's hesitation he took a gulp of air and got down on his first joint.
"Miss Me," he said, solemnly. "Will you marry me?"
Miss Me giggled.
"I'd be Mrs Finger-Me," she said, laughing.
"Of course!" Mr Finger replied. "It will be good for publicity. What do you do anyway?"
"I'm a primary school teacher," she said, looking slightly worried.
"Don't worry!" Mr Finger grinned, "I'm sure the parents won't mind."

So Miss Me became Mrs Finger-Me and Mr Finger was very happy. They got married in Jerusalem and embarked on a exotic honeymoon.
They stayed in a gorgeous castle and had rampant sex, like bunny rabbits. Their routine was pretty simple. Every morning Mr Finger would get out of bed, Mrs Finger-Me would call over to him and he would quickly return to bed.

Mr Finger enjoyed himself immensely. At last, after a long and extremely eventful honeymoon Mr and Mrs Finger returned home to Mr Finger's Marmite. After a couple of months Mrs Finger-Me was blessed with four lovely children. They called them Procris, Cephalus, Ellie and Bob.

And, until next time, they lived happily ever after.

Credits
Photographer: Henry
Background-holder: Luke
Models: Emmie, Luke
Storyline: Emmie

visual aid

2006-04-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

This is the first picture I've ever managed to get onto the blog. Who knows what wonders I will be able to show you in the coming posts? Anyway, this is only a quickie. I have a visual aid to the marmite discussion.

interlude

2006-04-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovelies. Just a little note to say I haven't died from lack-of-coffee. The, so called, holidays are going well. I feel like I'm working a lot. Mayeb I am? All for a good cause though. Right now I am eating pecan nuts for lunch. (This is the most exciting thing I've done today so far, except perhaps marmite on corncakes! Woo yay! I love marmite.) Yesterday Luke and I did a test involving marmite and vegemite. We both agreed marmite is better because it's easier to spead and is stronger. However, the vegemite has been in the cupboard ever since I can remember, so that might have altered results slightly. In other news, I've decided I don't want to use marmalade because it's too sticky. I think jelly would be more amusing. (You know what I mean...) I found a pretty cartoon but I don't know how to put it on, so you may have that to look forward to, if I work it out. Talking of working, I must be off. Lots of love and hugs and kisses and other pretty things. If you get stressed try standing on your head. It's very calming. Oh, and running water is just the coolest thing! I love it. It's so pretty and cool and gentle. Mmmmm. Yeah. Huggles.

and now for something completely different...

2006-03-25T22:57:00.000-08:00

Monty Python films! Ah, they're fantastic, are they not?

At 1am tonight it will suddenly be 2am. No, the world is not timetravelling (how can it?) it is simply jumping to make up for hours. The point is: as of tomorrow we will be awake while the sun is up more! Oh yes, this means we can see more of our gorgous London. We can spend more time waiting for buses in daylight. We can even sit inside and hide from the daylight for more time (because you guys, presumably, sleep until after the sun has risen. shocking, I know).

Any Metro readers might already have been amused by this but I want to share it...hippopotomonstrosesquippedialiophobia is the fear of long words. Brilliant, don't you think?

Other news include my not-emo-ness, despite popular belief... and a request. This is a very plaintive and special request. I request all readers who read this before tomorrow to go to bed early, because (as I mentionned earlier) the clocks are moving, and it will not do for you all to be tired and asleep during the daylight hours which have been presented to us. We should all egt up and dance in the sunlight...yeah...maybe not...April soon. EEK!

Bon nuit. Je vous aime.

au jour'dui

2006-03-19T12:04:00.000-08:00

You might think that it is too early to tell you of my day, but I assure you it is not. There is a very simple reason for this. My day began at 4:30am. I woke up, very suddenly. A loud Red Hot Chile Peppers song was playing. I had been having a dream involving skateboards and high buildings. I fell off the top of a very high building and as I fell all the skaters laughed and cheered. I waved at them and then I hit the floor and everything went black. At that point I woke up. The dream itself was not scary. I often dream of such things. The thing that had scared me was that I woke up with a very strong urge to go and jump off the roof. At 5:30 I got off my bed and made breakfast, still thinking of reasons why I should not jump off the roof. I wasn't very convincing. So I had breakfast and worked until 11, when I stopped working and came upstairs. Now I am watching Jurassic Park 2 and talking to people...not many people. I have suppressed the urge to jump off the roof. Talk later. Hugs to all.

A fear of things to come

2006-03-17T23:26:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am afraid of April. I have never feared a month before, but right now I fear April. In April many things will happen. I will give a rough run down, though more will occur...

1st April (at 0000am): I will start the long and hard month of April. From this moment onwards I will be unable to drink coffee for the entirety of the month. I believe Toby (yes you!) claims he can do it too. I'd like to see him try. I will make him a bet that he can't and I can.

5th April: Naomi's Birthday. There are plans of a pretty party somewhere in North London. It all sounds fun!

6th April: (if I wake up) it will be Richard's Birthday. (This is not a Richard you know, but he is very dear to me.)

14th April: I will have been an active blogger for a complete year!

15th April: Jon's Birthday. (Likewise this is not a Jon you know, but he too is very lovely.)

April will also house the Easter holidays, but I don't know when they start. I know I'm on holiday during Jon's Birthday, but more details must be found in order to put a precise date. During the holidays I plan to revise a lot and drink no coffee. In summary, I am scared of April. Will I be able to survive it? (I have to get to it first. Eek!)

do dee doo dee doo...

2006-03-10T23:32:00.000-08:00

Woah. What can I say? Hm. Wow. Well, there was opera (Dido and Aeneas) which was very very yaysome. With costumes and dances and singing. Ah, yes. It was good. Steve, Kirsten and 'Chard came to see us (us being me and Helen) on Thursday. That was :D-y because it meant I got to see Steve and 'Chard (and Kirsten even more than usual- woooo!). Also my mother and littlest came yesterday, and Luke didn't fall asleep. I was so impressed! Today my father and biggest came. And at the end of the prologue Helen and I (ah, yes I am very spelling-and-grammar) got roses! Which was so so so cool! Other recent events include not much actually. Today I went to Pizza Express, but I could only afford three slices of pizza due to lack of funds. (I could have afforded a whole half but I sort of spent the money on coffee at break time.) It was nice though because I like pizza. Oooh, and Rob gave me a biscuit. Mmmm, I love biscuits. Also Luke won some coffee at some school thing he went to today. And, guess what, he gave it to me! :D Fantastic. He truly is a fabulous brother. Henry is lovely too, of course. Upon the opera he came up to me and said, "Well done. Do you want some gum?" I was deeply honoured that he was kind enough to impart his gum on me. It was fresh gum too. Not half-chewed. So now I am very bouncy and hyper. My mind is filled with red balloons.

More recent events

2006-03-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

Now, when you read that title what did you think it meant? Yeah...an add on to my last post, the worst event of the day actually wasn't the worst thing that happened that day. Anyway, I have two poems for you, my lovelies. You poor sods. Hehe. Enjoy!

Black Tears 6.1.06
I wept and cried ‘til just breathing hurt,
And then I sobbed some more.
My tears were black,
So strange to watch.
They dripped down my body,
Reeking of loss and of fear.
I am marked with an evil beauty
That has left pain wherever it went.
I bear the sign of sadness.
I wear a badge of shame.
My body left exhausted,
I cannot escape.

A Soldier’s End 26.2.06
As he lay dying,
A soldier thought:
What kind of man am I,
That I stand tall and proud
For my country,
But cannot face my mum?
How can I say I am brave,
When I can run through minefields
But not tell my wife I love her?
What foolish jape is this,
That here I feel no pain,
But when my child is hurting
My heart splits in two?
How can this be my end
When I have not said goodbye?

So there you have it. Some poems. Fun, no? Fantastic things I have done this weekend include chemistry, maths and drinking coffee. Highlights include listening to Verdi's Requiem. God, I LOVE Verdi's Requiem. Verdi was a genius! Seriously, it's fantastic!

recent events

2006-03-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

Most Negative Event of the Day: I got punched and my nose bled. But I'm sure it was an accident.
Most Positive Event of the Day: I walked all the way home with Rose, and we talked a lot and laughed a lot and ate some yummy things from Sainsburies!
Most Ironic Event of the Day: Due to being punched and trying to stop the bleeding of the nose, I was late to self defence.
Other Recent Events: History coursework! Yuck!

here without you

2006-02-24T19:52:00.000-08:00

A hundred days had made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated
but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight boy it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight boy it’s only you and me

Three Doors Down. Pretty song, no? Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. x

Life

2006-02-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

Alright. This poem is inspired by a dream I had, which might have been inspired by Lewis' most recent blog post and the film Serial Mum. In the dream I dreamt that I got killed by this old guy, who claimed to be my grandfather. As I was dying I made a HUGE apology to everyone and told them I loved them and then I pulled the knife out of me and killed the old guy, although it was an accident. Anyway, I woke up believing I was dead (very depressing). Then realised I couldn't be dead and I spent the morning very excited by this. During the first ten minutes of Chemistry (while everyone was finding files, coming in, etc) I wrote this.

Curiosity and Habit
There is no point to life,
As far as I can see.
We live from simple habit
And our human curiosity.
But despite this habit,
Which lets us continue living,
And our curiosity,
We are missing so much
In our day-to-day lives.
We've forgotten the miracle
Of it all.
When we wake up,
Out of habit,
And charged with curiosity
We miss the miracle
Of life itself.
We're not excited to think of
The day ahead
Because we focus on a
To-do list.
We miss the smell of morning,
And the touch of the sun.
We miss the taste of an orange,
And the sight of a smile in a friend's eyes.
Life is a miracle
And a gift
Which we sometimes waste
Through habit and curiosity.

I hope it isn't depressing. I showed Soti (school friend) and she said it was depressing but to me it was happy. Marvel at just living, it will make your day.

past, present and future

2006-02-07T23:21:00.000-08:00

It feels like I have not blogged properly for a long long time. *hangs head in shame* The reason for this is that I have been doing lots of things to blog about (obviously).

The past...
Alright, the furthest thing in the past that I can remember is last Thursday, when I travel to the middle of nowhere to view the A Level showing of Ol' 'Chard from Kent. It was excellent, as were the other ones. There was lots of issues addressed and overall it was a very enjoyable evening. *claps to all involved*
The next day (Friday!) I was forced to go to see Mikado (an opera by Gilbert and Sullivan). My aunt got the tickets free as she teaches one of the singer's son. I think I enjoyed the second half much more than the first half, but the experience in general was great. The theatre is beautiful!
On Saturday I went iceskating with many people, including one Simon who had never skated before. Due to past iceskating times I apparently have exceptional balance on the ice. Consequentially 'twas I who held Simon's hand as he struggled round the icerink. It was very funny. After iceskating we all went back to Jessie's house and there was lots of tickling and laughter. All throughout the night...
Sunday morning I went home and worked. Oh yeah, I also had some fun with the cooking. I catapulted some food across the table- it was spectacular! Except it landed on my thumb and now my thumb is all blown up and ugly, but I think it will go down soon and it doesn't really hurt so it's all good.
On Monday not much occured. In fact I remember nothing. I believe I spent some time doing my history coursework and on the phone.
Tuesday there was a history trip! I went to the Imperial War Museum. The day was spent looking at historical artifacts, viewing exhibits and playing cards.

That was the past. On to the present...
Wahay. Right now I am alright, slightly coldridded, which is annoying. But not all that bad. I have finished my history coursework which is due in tomorrow. I am on top of all my work, except chemistry, which won't be checked, so I will do it tomorrow or perhaps tonight when I "go to bed".

The future...
During the week I need to pack my bag for DofE, but that is it.
On Friday I am lucky enough to be going to the theatre with my parents and brothers.
Saturday holds the delights of Steve's party! (Which I am very looking forward to.)
On Sunday I will set off on my DofE treck, which will last until Tuesday. Helen is going too, so that is ultra cool! I will be taking my maths coursework with me, which will fill my evenings, making me slightly antisocial but I will try to keep a good balance of work and play.
Tuesday night I will spend in my own bed (Woo yay!)As on Wednesday morning I will have to be up birght and early as we're going to the Lake District to do more walking! Exciting, no? So I will walk a lot and do maths, again, in the evenings.
On Friday night/ early morning Saturday I will once again return home and will spend the weekend at choir rehearsals.

I'm busy, I am. After all these fabulous events I will preceed to put some more stuff on the blog. I have written thousands of poems since I last blogged, though I don't think many of them are very good. But yeah. That's it. I hope everyone has lovely half terms. See some of you at Steve's. Lots of love.

cheques and balences...well actually maths and coffee and history but it's all the same

2006-01-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

Hello. Update on my reality- I am under obligation to drink just one cup of coffee per week throughout February, as decreed by my lovely alter-ego Anais. I'm sure there are benefits to this but it seems very evil. How am I going to live with only one cup per day? I wonder if she'd let me drink decaf?

what if?

2006-01-24T22:29:00.000-08:00

To A Loved One
Let me take your hand,
And guide you away from here,
Where danger and pain fill every waking moment,
And fears of tomorrow ruin today.
Let me take your hand
And lead you somewhere safe,
Where you can live a happy life
And where your smile is real.
Let me take your hand
And hold you close to me
So I can pretend I will never lose
Your gentle touch,
Your thought filled eyes,
Your little smile.
Let me take your hand
In these twilight hours
And give you to a better place,
Where you will live forever more
Happy amoungst the flowers.

A Problem
When imagination runs too far,
And reality is a dream,
And when my demons haunt me
And make me want to scream,
And when I'm crying on my bed
Surrounded by dead children
Who weep and yell and shout at me,
And make it all too much,
When I feel I can't go on,
My fingers bathed in blood,
And when I'm cold and all alone
It makes me smile to think of you,
So sweet and gentle, safe and warm.

a post

2006-01-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

Hello. I don't have much to say but I realised I haven't blogged in a while and I figured I should blog. The only things on my mind are unspeakables so I will not say them. Here's a thought for you: would you like to be a fish who lives a relatively long and contented life? Or would you prefer to be a musician who dies tragically young and very depressed? As a fish you would be happy but as the musician you would think greater things. Which would you rather be?

This post is dedicated to the burnt one (otherwise known as 'Chard) as 'twas he who reminded me of this question, by looking like a fish.

rain

2006-01-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

I was going to do a rant about how amazing rain is but I can't, not beyond what I wrote earlier. So yeah. Rain:

In the rain I'm on my own,
But in the rain I'm happy alone.
The sky may weep and the winds may wail,
But in the rain, and sleet, and hail,
I am at one with all and nought,
And nothing you say can make me distraught.
In the rain I am at peace.
No man, no words, no growling beast
Can make me hide what I've become.
In the rain I'm comfortably numb.
In the rain my mask slides off,
Like a shy and gentle moth.
In the rain my sodden skin
Just for a moment, lets me in.

whistling

2006-01-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

Cry
I wept and cred 'til just breathing hurt,
And then I sobbed some more.
My tear were black,
So strange to watch.
They dripped down my body,
Cool and dark,
Reeking of loss,
Of fear.
I am marked with an evil beauty
That has left pain where'er it went.
I bear the sign of sadness.
I wear a badge of shame.
My body left exhausted
I cannot escape.

Coffee Cup
Sitting in a coffee cup,
Breathing in the air;
Treasureing the bitter taste;
Wallow in its liquid glory.
Stroke the nice hot coffee cup.
Thankful gulp and swallow.
Remember the balnket that covers you;
Makes you warm and keeps you safe.
Sitting in my coffee cup,
The comfort's overwhelming;
Treasuring the bitter taste;
Relaxing in a moment's glory.

In Mourning
someone's crying
in the morning;
they've been crying
all night long.
someone's crying;
they're in mourning;
they've been crying
for one who's gone.
someone's crying
as day is dawning;
they've been crying
'cause now they're alone.
someone's crying
as birds start singing;
they'll be crying
their whole life long.

Hide-and-Seek
Bubble and squeak and giggle and shout!
A child is playing hide-and-seek with a tiny fairy.
Behind a daisy the fairy flutters.
The child knows not where to look,
But the playmates are patient.
Bubbles squeak overhead.
A moment's distraction;
A giggle. A shout.
But the game must go on
Until the child becomes me,
And the fairy turns into you.
Then at the bottom of a princess's garden
The game will finally end.
Don't be sad though.
The next game is wild and crazy.
Before I was but a child and you just a fiary.
Now with greater wisdom we play on
Until new games commence with a bit more fun.

COFFEEEE!

2006-01-12T22:56:00.000-08:00

Good evening all. I am currently whistling and drinking coffee. As there is plenty of it about and I have made some recent very interesting discoveries; well just one; I am going to talk just a little bit about my belovéd drink. According to the science digest in the Metro (Weds 11th Jan. 2006 edition) caffeine can improve you sex life... if you are a female rat. Theories behind this include one that because the rats have never really been exposed to caffeine before its effects on them are great. I think my point is WOOO! COFFEE!

Other recent events in my life include eating two lunches in one day (that's FOUR meals in 24 hours!), doing mocks and appriciating life more. I'm going to go and see Jamie Cullum on Saturday. That should be interesting. Also I recieved a letter today which was very fun. I like letters. Thank you. I think that's about it. Oh, and I recommend the book 'Peter Pan'. It's not just for children, I promise. 'Night.

Sleep, Hunger, Crying, Coffee, Breakfast! and m...m...mocks

2006-01-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

I have recently made a discovery. Sleep is actually not necessary! You CAN survive easily on as little as 3 hours a night, providing you maintain your caffeine and energy levels. It's fantastic.
Last night/this morning (depending on how you look at it...it was before I went to bed so last night) a very rare occurrence occurred. I was sitting on my bed contemplating stuff and watching a story in my head, when I noticed a strange feeling in my stomach. Normally I ignore feelings in my stomach as much as I can, they're not usually good things. But this feeling was entirely different from any feeling I'd felt in a long time so I began to wonder what it was. It wasn't pain of any sort, nor was it a temperature or wriggly thing. After about twenty minutes of thinking it struck me. The feeling I was feeling was hunger! I was very excited by this. I sat there for a couple of minutes treasuring the hunger feeling, it's really quite nice, isn't it? I then realised that when you're hungry you're meant to eat so I reached for my carrot/apple bag, which was sadly devoid of any carrots and apples, due to me having eaten them all and not brought any more. Inside the bag I had three oranges, which I skinned and ate, whilst watching my hamster play in his cage. Having completed this task I drank some water (another rare occurrence) and considered actually going to bed. It was about 2h30 when all these events finished and I figured I might as well try to sleep. I actually got to sleep really quickly, it only took about half an hour, ish. I was so proud of myself. Anyway, yeah. That was my adventure of the night. It was one of the best feelings I've had all year. I hope I get hungry again soon.
This morning I got up at six to get back into school hours again and to walk Henry to the bus stop. He informed me he did not wish to be escorted to the bus stop so I woke Luke up and we messed about for a bit. He made me cry! I was drinking coffee and juggling. He was eating breakfast and drinking tea (I'm a bad influence on him). He said, "Wouldn't it be really funny if you dropped a juggling ball in your coffee!" Not really thinking, I replied, "Yup." "There would be coffee all over the floor!" He said. I dropped the juggling balls and started to cry. It's pathetic really. But how could be so callous as to even think of spilt coffee on the floor? Yeah, it was sad.
Oooh! And I had breakfast! In the morning! I'm so good. I had a curry sandwich and it was YUMMY! Not so impressively I had already drunk two cups of very strong coffee by 8 o'clock. Normally I try to wait until 11 to have my second cup. But I'd boiled the kettle to make Luke's tea so I figured I might as well have some more. I do like coffee.
ANYWAY! I'd best be off back to my history revision. Mocks tomorrow! EEK! hehe.

14th November

2006-01-09T03:29:00.000-08:00

On the 14th November 1582 Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway.
On the 14th November 1840 Claude Monet was born.
On the 14th November 1982, Lech Walesa, the leader of the Solidarity movement returned home, having been released from jail. He had been imprisoned as part of a crack down against the Solidarity movement, by the communists. In 1983 he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. In 1990 he became Poland's first democratically elected leader.
On the 14th November 1989 I was born, just 5 days after the Berlin Wall fell.
The 14th November, just one of 365 day in a year.

2005

2006-01-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

(5th Jan.)
So, what happened in 2005? How much detail should I go into? How much can I remember? There are somethings that cannot be said, others that can...this will require much thought and may take much time. More time than I have right now. I can't remember anything before Dec31st anyway, so i suppose research is in hand...

(6th Jan.)
So I have done some research and I can conclude that 2005 was a terrible year. There are some months which I refuse to talk about because they were not pretty months and I want to highlight the good things that happened in 2005.

January 2005:
-bloodtests I love bloodtests. Blood is so pretty and it's really nice to just see it being sucked out of you. Very calming. Though I got very dizzy afterwards. But it was all fun.
-guitars I had just started playing the guitar and I was playing often with my friend, Jon. We spent hours in his room just playing and singing. It was brilliant, we laughed so much.
-Luke got a stud through his lip and had to have plastic surgery That was not so good but it was interesting. I went to visit him in hospital and he was asleep so I ate his dinner. It was yummy!
-I went kiting a lot Which was obviously fantastic because I like kiting and I went with Richard (my Richard) down to Camber Sands. It was SO windy. We sat on the beach and threw stones in the air and they flew! It was great.

February 2005:
-Lake District! Yeah, I went to the Lake District for a couple of days with my family. It was very fun. We walked very high up and there was snow. This one day I went on a long long walk with my dad and we got very lost and ended up sliding down the ice on the side of a very steep mountain- it was sooo much fun.
-Time travel on the bus I became convinced this woman on the bus that I saw every morning was a time traveler from the future. I can't remember why, but I stalked her for most of the month. Then I remembered time travel doesn't exist yet and realised I was being silly.
-COFFEE! I drank a lot of coffee in Feb. 'Twas goood.
-Eloquence I formed a band with Jon and this guy called Sacha. I sang and played guitar. We were going to rule the world. But it didn't work out. We split up in the summer. It's a shame. I miss playing with other people.

March 2005:
-lots of choir There was lots of choir. Helen and I sang lots and lots, and talked lots and lots. Hehe.
-Laure! My French exchange came here. It was interesting. We saw all the sites of London and had fun. She was a bit quiet though.

April 2005:
-month of no coffee I don't drink coffee in April.
-I saw Motorcyle Diaries It's a lovely lovely film. It only cost £2 to watch it! That was fantabulous! :)
-a long walk I also went on a very long walk, carrying Nancy (aged 4) most of the way and rescuing her brother from a swamp. It was good! Really funny...

May 2005:
-STAR WARS CAME OUT AND I SAW IT!!! Do I need to say any more?
-Bob (my hamster) and my great great aunt died. That was sad. Um. Yeah.

June 2005:
-Drama! I designed and operated the lighting for part of a play we put on at school. It was very fun, if a bit time consuming. 'Twas fun and yaysome!

July 2005:
-I was camping with these people and I borrowed this guys guitar and ran away with it! I was sitting behind a car and playing the guitar and these kids came up to me and gave me some money. They thought I was busking. I was so flattered. :)
-France I later got sent to France on a French exchange. I went camping with these French Girl Guides and it was amazingly fun! I went on a midnight secret hike in the vineyards and we lay and looked at the stars, until the farmer's dogs started barking and we returned to the tents.

August, September and October 2005:
I don't want to talk about them. Sorry.

November 2005:
-DRAMA! Oh yeah, we did divising and it was great! Very much fun and memorable. I played an eight year old imaginary girl who'd got raped on multiple times by her father. It was really good. Really really good.

December 2005:
-lots of parties Some good, some not so good. :)

So that was roughly my year. Sorry for missing some bits out. Ok, that's it. Hugs.

coffee etc

2006-01-04T22:31:00.000-08:00

I realised something today and it's still a bit mashy in my mind, but basically it is that if I try hard I can do something. So I am going to try hard. I've been sleeping way too much recently, wasting soo much time. (Waking up at 9! TOO LATE!) Thus, tomorrow I will up bright and early at six, and be doing something worthwhile with the three hours I've been wasting. My theory is, if I do something to please my parents in the morning then perhaps I will be able to do something more beneficial later in the day. Though that might not be the case. I will try. If I fail I will try harder.

On a lighter note I think coffee is brilliant. I will blog a longer post when I can think of something nice to say. I love you all lots.

have you ever?

2006-01-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

Have you ever forgotten you exist? It's an amazing feeling. You can be sitting and watching something and you're so focussed on the thing you're watching you just forget you exist. It comes as a shock to you when you realise you have a physical form. While you've forgotten you feel as if you could go anywhere, do anything and it's ok because everything is so calm. It's amazing. Have you ever felt that?

happy new year

2005-12-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

why does everyone say happy new year? i mean we haven't experienced the new year yet- sure it might be happy but there's no guarantee. it hasn't been happy before. i hope it will be happy but that doesn't mean anything and really it's just silly. the only happy thing about the new year is that it isn't this year anymore, which i guess can only be a plus but why should it really make that much of a difference? im fed up of all these years and days and numbers. im gonna go and revise french on the roof.

un autre reve

2005-12-29T23:24:00.000-08:00

Recently I had a dream which has stuck with me. I told to my brother early one morning in Sainsburies and he laughed a lot and said it should be made into a film. I laughed a lot and said no-one would watch it. He poked me.

The Dream:
I am in a stable of some sort. There are sections closed off to the left and right of me but I can see over the fences/gates. A bottle of champagne is floating in the air, liquid pouring out of it. I stand underneath it and catch the liquid as it falls. It is vodka but I don't stop drinking it. The vodka flows out plentifully until I pass out on the floor. It gushes until I am drenched in vodka. Then the bottle floats over to one of the closed stable bits where three sheep stand in a line. The sheep furthest on the right opens it mouth and drinks the vodka. It cackles evilly, its eyes roll into the back of its head and it falls over sideways- dead. A deep voice from an unknown source says, "The shepherd will be sad."

I apologise for lack of accent on the word "reve". I do know there should be one but I am too lazy to find it. Sorry.

childhood dream

2005-12-17T23:53:00.000-08:00

There is a lake. It doesn't have a ripple on it. It's so huge I cannot see the other side. I suddenly realise it is a lake of blood. I turn around, there is just blood and fire. I look at my feet and see congealed blood. I scream. It echoes and the ground beneath me shakes. There are goblins, far away on a ledge, making a bridge out of bones. They're coming to get me. I turn and run into the lake. It's deep and I'm out of by depth within two strides. I struggle through the blood. It's getting thicker. I start to sink, spitting blood. I go under. I can't get up again. I close my eyes but still see the blood all around me. I open my mouth, gasping for air. Blood rushes in and I sink. Forever.

a conventional entry

2005-12-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

Hello. I thought, for once, I would write a conventional entry. What I did today, etc. So here goes...

I woke up at 7 o'clock, which is WAY TOO LATE, so I very quickly got dressed and grabbed the remaining presents I had to take to school and some choir music. I then proceeded to the bus stop with my brother, Henry (13), and caught the bus to school. On the way I listened to Three Doors Down, who are relatively unknown but I like them a lot...sometimes. Upon arriving at school I wrapped two presents in plain paper and labelled them (they were the only presents I wrapped). I soon toddled off the Saint Barnabas, where I practised music with my choir and then we sang songs in a Carol Service. After this we all wandered back to school and gave out presents and cards and ate chocolate (well I didn't- brushing my teeth hurt so I didn't feel quite up to solids...or liquids). Um, then we all went to end-of-term-assembally with clapping and lots of awards (none for me of course. I have never been up in assembally). Then there was walking to pack the bag and walking to the music block. And looking at the opera who-got-in-list and I got the part of the 2nd Shepardess, which is a tiny part but I do not care- wooo! Urm, then me and Habiba recorded something to give to our parents for Christmas, but realised we couldn't put it on a cd so we "borrowed" the micaphone. Then I went home and ate some spaghetti from a tin and drank some coffee. Then Luke got home. Then I went off, on the bike to find Steve, and found Steve. Took Steve back to my house and we played Halo and I drank more coffee and struggled not to fall asleep and we just generally hung out. The my mother got home, in not a very good state-I am sorry Steve- so she went off to buy some food for dinner. Then Steve left and my Godfather, Roland, arrived. We all drank...maybe a bit too much...I don't know...I feel bad...hehe...and we did kareoke and 'twas all fun. That brings us up to now...

Now. Hum, well I have to admit I've felt better. I was meant to take a pill at 11...but I will do that when I go to bed...or at least downstairs. I've drunk a lot of water and I'm feeling gradually a bit better. Urm...other news...none, except I am trying to be vaguely Christmassy this year. I have a Christmas card stuck up on my wall.

*smiles*

curses

2005-12-13T05:15:00.000-08:00

I cannot explain how much pain today has been. Simply moving hurts. Deep breaths hurt. I mean, if I shift a centimentre in my chair it hurts, and not just "ouch", actually so much that I can't unclench my teeth. It's ridiculous. Absolutely stupid. And it's not fair. I'm taking the pills, like I'm meant to. I'm trying to eat regularly. There really isn't very much more I could do. I'm fed up. I wrote some poems. They're not all from today. They're from all over the place. But whatever. Oh yeah, I have an English Mock and a timed essay for Drama to look forward to tomorrow. *giggles* Such fun.

A Poem
You are my best friend and my worst enemy.
You control me but I am the one that uses you.
You're never gentle or kind, but still I invite you in,
When I need you.
You like the thrill you feel when you've squahed me to the ground.
You like the power that fills you when I am yours alone.
You like to see me curled up and shaking.
You like to stop me in my tracks and throw me to the floor,
So I'm shrunken and misshapen, beyond sound and movement.
Then I hate you. I curse you. Silently I yell.
But there are times when I need you.
Sometimes you are my friend.
I like the control I have to bring you in.
I welcome you late at night, when I'm too tired to cope.
You guide me when I cannot think.
You help suppress the anger.
Are you destructive?
I think not.
You are my best friend.
But also my worst enemy.

Look at the World
I look at the world.
It's spinning and rocking,
While I sit frozen on the floor.
I look at the world:
Chaotic and ugly,
While holding my head in my hands.
I look at the world.
I notice it's completely still.
'Tis I who spins and rocks and swirls.
Time is stopped
But life goes on.

A Simple Why
Why can't you see
That she can't see?
Why won't you hear
Her silent cries?
Why can't you help
When life's too much?
Why not see through her lies?

A Dream - quote
A dream is never achievable.
If it is achievable
It is not a dream.

titchy post

2005-12-11T23:55:00.000-08:00

dear whoever you are
find me and make me your beloved
find me

word of the day: narcoleptic
activity of the day: singing
problem of the day: that time when i was rendered immobile-hasn't happened in a while. scared me.
plots of the day: (1) involves ferrets, jam and something else. (2) involves chloroform, armbands and the Cam. (3) involves me and a guitar...I don't think I have the guts to carry it out...sadly
achievement of the weekend: sleeping 19.5 hours (I'm impressed)
failure of the weekend: the most obvious one would be being 1hour late for choir practise. *hangs head in shame*
phrase of the day: fall to pieces
decision in process: to stop putting poems online because they're silly.
thing I want to do: change my blog title.
final comment: no comment.

someone's favourite little coffee freak talks on coffee

2005-12-10T01:59:00.000-08:00

I have not blogged about coffee for a long time and I feel it is time to enlightened all you non-coffee-freaks once again. Today I talk about the pros and cons of coffee.

Pros of Coffee
Tastes damned good.
Is relaxing- calms me down when I am in need of being calmed down.
Fixes loneliness, fear, depression, suicidal feelings, headaches, shaking, etc. (short term)
Contains caffine.
Can be made anywhere where there is heat and water. Or can be eaten solid- though this doesn't taste as nice.
Lots of people like it! (and if they don't, they should)
You can easily carry some around in a thermos.
It gives you the energy to smile when you can't yourself.

Cons of Coffee
Can be too strong and make you gag.
Sometimes fixes nothing.
If you drink a lot it can make you think you're floating, see these weird little elephants wearing cute scarves, and blackout & fall over.
There is a protest song aimed at it, which is very catchy.(see below)
They don't let you take it with you into the school library.
Sometimes you can't find any when you physically need it to just get on with your life but there is none nearby and you are a mess.
It is an expensive thing to fuel if you drink a lot.
Needs to be drunk regularly to maintain the pros.

The Anti-Coffe Song
C-O-F-F-E-E
Coffee's much stronger than tea.
Children should leave it alone,
Or it'll make them skin and bone.
Better by far to drink a cup of tea!

That's all I can think of to say. But I may add to it as the day goes by. In other news I have to thank Sarah HB for throwing a lovely party last night. What were everybody's secret missions? I've got to say mine was not particularly secret. "When someone says 'Warwick' pinch the bottom of the person nearest to you." Damn that word! And whoever came up with it! I will get you and tickle you (unless you are not ticklish in which case woe betide you!)I slept nine and a half hours last night! Be impressed, I don't sleep. Before that I had not been in bed for 41 hours. I didn't realise it was so long. Hehe. Also the weather is nice today. I am going to go shopping for Christmas Presents. (Next blog on Christmas.) *waves*

Some added groundbreaking news: I like coffee with milk and sugar. The last two cups I've had have both been milk and sugarfied. (In other words polluted coffee.) Urm, that's it. Except now we've run out sugar so I should buy some of that...

let me be your scapegoat

2005-12-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

Flutterby
I thought I saw a flutterby
Flutter past my eye
While the sun was shining bright
Glitter in the summer light
I thought I saw a flutterby
I must've been mistaken
'Twas just a pretty butterfly
Flying cheerful in the sky

A Long Time
I've been waiting here a long time now,
Just dreaming of your face.
I'm sitting in the corner,
Remembering your voice.
I've been waiting here a long time now,
But I do not wait in vain.
I know soon you'll be near me,
Taking away my pain.

Fingers
He's watching in the garden,
Surrounded by the birds.
He's peeping through my curtains.
He smiles. I sit and work.
He will not rest 'til I am gone.
He's waiting for his chance.
He knows I am alone here.
He likes to hear me cry.
He sits and plots outside my window,
Waiting for his chance.
He will tie me up with ribbons,
And tear my skin to shreds.
He'll slash my arms.
He'll stain the gorund.
He will not rest 'til I am gone.
He's waiting for his chance.

My Mummy
My mummy loves me.
I know she does.
Even when I'm bad
And forget things I shouldn't.
My mummy may not always understand
But she does care
Which is why I should not let her see
When I am sad.

Don't let them see
Don't let them see
Cawed a crow
As I quietly opened the door.
Don't let them know
Whispered an apple
When I crept under its tree.
Don't let them hear
Coughed a lamp post
In the smoke lingering in the air.
Don't let them see
The world spins round
In dizzy circles.
Don't let them know
You can't hold on
To the floor anymore.
Don't let them hear
You're silent scream
As you fall uphill.

(this one is special) . . . (I don't know why)
To My Big Brother

Hello big brother
I have something to say
It's not mindblowing, or wise
I just want you to know
That I care.

Wait, big brother
Please, maybe one more thing
It's not special or clever
I just want you to know
That if you ever need me I will be here.

But big brother
Before you go
I have something to tell you
That you should probably know
It's just that
I need you

I need you to look after me
I need you to love yourself
I need you to be there to tell me
I am me, when I don't know

I'm sorry big brother
I'm wasting your time
You can go now
All I wanted to tell you
Is that I care.

there is no one here but me!

2005-12-05T23:19:00.000-08:00

Hello. I thought I'd write a realy thing insted of putting in poems or whatever, simply because I have been told off with regards to my poems apparently mostly being depressing. So instead I write, with great skill might I add, in full sentences!!! Impressive, no? What do I have to say? I wrote a happy poem but I can't remember it. I've got it downstairs. I'll post it tomorrow, because this is very boring reading. Last night I fell asleep in my cupboard. I was safe in my cupboard. But it wasn't the comfiest of places and Sarah HB told me to get into bed. She can be very persuasive. So yes. Why was I in the cupboard? I think I should leave you to ponder over it...a prize for the best guess! :D hehe.

OH! Isn't it terrible how everything in the world is becoming a competetion. Here I was thinking the blogosphere was a nice competition-free zone and the Dave/The Scrinch introduces a competition! Disgusting isn't it! (I want to win- hehehe.)Oh, and I just put a competition on too. Well, they make things more interesting.

Well, I'd best be off now. Homework to do and all that. Hugs and kisses!

poem

2005-11-28T23:12:00.000-08:00

The people are sleeping,
Save one schoolboy weeping.
His work is not finished.
His moral diminished,
He cries on the floor,
His back to the door.
Far away, a girl in candlelight,
With pen and pad doth write
An epic poem long
Of freedom, darkness and song.
At night she fears silence.
Knowing love leads to violence,
Represses the feeling,
And writes while she's healing.
A jumper covers skin pale,
Legs behind shorts, of a male.
Bloodstained are her fingers.
In her sadness lingers.
She looks out the glass,
Sees no people pass,
And undoes the latch,
In her mind a plan hatch.
She climbs into the air,
Shaking back her short hair.
Silent, she drops
And runs past the shops.
Bare feet slap on concrete,
Hoping no-one she'll meet.
The people are sleeping.
She prays nobody's peeping.
Crosses the road without even a glance.
The moon alone watches her dance.
On the grass she leaps and bounds.
Darts under streetlamps. Flies over the ground.
Only the moon sees as she dances.
Only the moon watches her prances.
A car drives past.
The girl shrinks fast,
Hides from the light,
Ducks out of sight.
Mustn't be seen.
She mustn't be seen.
She creeps now, uncertain,
Of those behind the curtain.
But the people are sleeping.
She returns to her leaping.
Under the moonlight she flies and she sings.
It's four o'clock magic. She alone has gold wings.
She reaches a pond
And picks up a wand.
A fairy, she flutters,
Unseen by the gutters,
And swirls in the moonlight,
All through the night.
Then over the trees shoots the first ray of sunshine.
The city night pixie sees the sign.
Her wings disappear. Her wand is a stick.
She enters her window before you could click.
The people stop sleeping.
The cars start their beeping.
Not a word has she spoken.
Waits in bed to be woken.
She's lost her freedom, but just for the day,
So smiling, she knows it will all be ok.
She faces the day with her head held up high,
Glancing, in secret, at the moon in the sky.

doobeeedooodooodaaa

2005-11-26T00:48:00.000-08:00

Evening all.

Today the event of Helen's 18th Birthday Party occured. It was a small affair, involving some people. I shan't talk much on it because other people can probably do it better, with pictures and suchlike. But it was great fun and I hope everyone enjoyed the play. Happy Birthday Helen my dear.

(a-by-the-way:) By the way, I am indeed 16, as pointed out by Dave C. I turned 16 on the 14th November. I am not old. But not as old as you lot. So ha!

How to make a not-omelette:
-find a saucepan and an egg and some left over chicken (optional)
-put the saucepan on the gas thingy and crack the egg into it
-wait for egg to cook
-turn on gas
-wait for egg to cook...a bit
-put left over chicken bits into cooking egg
-poke mixture with fork so it doesn't stick to pan
-when mixture starts to smoke remember that you are cooking and take it off hurriedly
-scrape mixture into bowl
-eat

Original plans were to cook an omelette but circumstances led to a not-omelette being made, which was yummy so I recommend it.

Do I have anything else to say? Urm, yeah. Those who were not at Helen's or those who left ridiculously early were missed. But there is always another time, no?

Other thoughts...Steve dropped me on my head! Shock! Horror! (It still hurts- hehe.) It was my fault for wriggling though. *giggles*

Oh! No, actually that's it. Goodnight to all. I am going to go and clean out the hamster. See you!

as promised

2005-11-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Dead Baby Jokes:

-What’s worse than finding 10 dead babies in a tree?
-Finding 1 dead baby in 10 trees.

-What goes waaaah, splat, ping?
-A baby in a microwave.

-How do you find a baby that has been playing with a blender?
-Look up.

-What’s the difference between 10 dead babies and 10 dead sheep?
-I don’t have 10 dead sheep hidden under my bed.

Poems:

People (by D.H. Lawrence)
I like people quite well at a little distance.
I like to see them passing and passing and going their own way, especially if I see their aloneness alive in them.
Yet I don’t want them to come near.
If they will only leave me alone I can still have the illusion that there is room enough in the world.

I don’t need coffee (by H. Islam)
I don’t need coffee.
I am strong,
Independent.
I will control my own life.
I don’t need coffee.
Latté, cappuccino, mocha…mmm.
I can stand on my own two feet
(outside Starbucks drooling).
No!
I don’t need coffee.
I can sit here,
Looking at the cup,
Feeling its warmth,
Imagining its taste.
Well…maybe.
I don’t need coffee
-starting tomorrow!

Forgotten Coffee Cups
Forgotten coffee cups
Crying in the corner
Forsaken coffee cups
Mourning lost friendship
Poor, lonely coffee cups
Lie in wait for my return

Remember?
Do you remember the days
When walking to school was an adventure?
Do you remember the time
You believed you could fly?
Can you recall the excitement?
The passion? The simplicity?
Do you remember the touch of your teddy?
Can you recall?

Legs
When you can’t support yourself
I will be your legs.
When you’re too tired to see
I will be your eyes.
When all want to do is give up
I will be behind you,
Egging you on.

When you hate every cell in your body
I will give you mine.
When you are broken, lying cold in space
I will be your friend.
When you’re so lost you cannot even find yourself
I will be your map.

I will hold your hand.

Time or Space
No.
We don’t believe in time or space.
We don’t believe in waves or mass.
I won’t believe in life and death.
You cannot make me face the pain.
I will survive inside myself.
You can’t force me to be here and now.
I am not lost. I just won’t see.

Poem for Jessie
I can see you drawing,
Hear the scratch of your pen.
I look at your pictures
In admiration and jealousy.
Flowing dresses, elegant faces
And pretty patterns tumble
Onto blank sheets,
Filling empty spaces,
With love and fear and passion.
I can see you drawing,
Hear the scratch of your pen.
I watch as you release each stroke
Gently, carefully,
As if it were a child.
I watch you coax your ink
Into images of beauty and pain.
I can see you drawing.
Watch new worlds be created.
It is pure magic.
It is Jessie
Laid out for all to see.

To Anaïs
I found you when I was nearly broken
You took me and gave me a hug
You held me when I was close to breaking
In your arms, gave me your love.
I hope you know that when you’re broken
I will take you and give you a hug
I will hold you and stop you breaking
In my arms, give you my love.

Give up giving up.

2005-11-19T19:09:00.000-08:00

Stuff to look forward to:
-more poems (some of mine, some from the Gorey Alphabet, and one by Habiba)
-more dead baby jokes (Kirsten sent me some in a letter. I'll put them on asap)

Explanation of title:
I am starting a new campaign which aims in helping people find or make their very own sunny dispotition. It's called "give up giving up" and I don't know how it will work but hopefully it will provide smiles and laughs to the needy, and the not-needy too (because I think it's sad how the not-needy are ignored).
Your homework:
To make a list of the things that make you smile*. These may include "forbidden" things. The list is for you.

*Definition of "smile":
By smile I mean an inside smile. A smile that might happen when you're on your own, because you subconciously wanted to smile, for your own benefit; not anyone else's. Note:(Being "on your own" is very different from being "alone". If you're on your own you are not with any company. If you're alone you feel like you're on your own, even when you're not. When you're alone you can feel forgotten, rejected and hated. Being on your own is a physical thing. Being alone is a mental thing.)

Thing of the Day!!!

2005-11-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

Hello. My thing of the day today is very exciting and has had me in hysterics for many an hour. My thing of the day is: SADISTIC BABY JOKES! (Those who are sensitive please look away now.)I will start with (what I think is) the worst and progress to the best one!

Baby Joke 1:
-How many babies does it take to plaster a wall?
-It depends how hard you throw them!

Baby Joke 2:
-What is better than a baby in a bucket?
-A baby in ten buckets!

Baby Joke 3:
-What is the epitemy of pain?
-A peeled baby in a bucket of salt!

Hilarious, no? I think they're brilliant. The ideas they give me...I want a baby. *evil laughter*

scrabble, limoncello and .. er .. something else

2005-11-13T00:34:00.000-08:00

Hello. Today I woke up at six and, after some deliberation, decided not to go to school, but to lie in bed for a bit insted. So I lay in bed until about 8ish when I got up, reluctantly due to cold room and warm bed. (hehe. this is detailed.) I made a toga out of my bed-thingy. I then finished off a beautiful picture which I'd started the night before- I hope the referrence to "99 red balloons" is noticed! Having done this I charged up the stairs and kicked Luke off the computer to copy Showbiz (by Muse) which Steve lent me and which I had to return. . . this is boring. I've forgotten everything else anyway...

***A NEW PARAGRAPH***
Cor, what shall I put in my new paragraph. Ooh, I know. I will talk about (can you guess? I bet you can!) COFFEE! Oh yes, I return to my favourite topic once again. Ok, so I gave up coffee some days ago now. I have gone what feels like years without it and I no longer and plagued by headaches, nausea, etc. In fact I am feeling quite self-dependant. I do not spend all my time thinking about it...only most of my time. I miss coffee!
Here is a good website: http://www.tmcm.com/comics/webcomics/080_story Please go there and read it. www.tmcm.com is a website which I was recently introduced to by Mr Lewis, and I have been visiting it regularly since. I have just one problem with this story. The problem is that when Too-Much-Coffee-Man gets to the end, I laugh. Which is completely evil because that little coffee bean seems so nice and sweet! Am I completely evil?

Goodnight. I'm going to go downstairs now. I might do my english homework...yes, that would be a good idea. 'Night!

no coffee

2005-11-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

I'm at school. Have had no coffee all day so my mind is not working right (I have such a bad headache) but I will hopefully get some later. Urm. This is really just a quick thing. I should be doing my english homework. I really can't be bothered. No. Um. Yeah, I can't come to Cambridge with you guys cos my mum found out and it's all a bit of a mess. Like they say- "even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry". Whatever that means. Hm. But I won't be seeing you guys (woe), nor being banquetty (more woe), nor shall I be around to carry out plans involving chloroform, the Cam and some armbands...ah, it would've been so good. But maybe some other time? If I do something good?
Don't you guys think it's SO DUMB how the Americans put their dates as month/day/year. I mean, today (in English) is 9/11/2005 and because they have their 9/11 meaning 11th September...well all in all I was just wondering why we weren't all thinking about the planes and big buildings and stuff. But it was explained to me.
However, in the Americans' favour: George Lucas is American and we all know he rules! (Except for being American. I would've been happy to be his son if it weren't for that!!!)
Other stuff...I dunno. I'm a bit messed up right now. We'll see how it turns out, no?
Hugs to all. xxx

Blooobardyblahblah...

2005-11-07T22:37:00.000-08:00

Evenin' all. I must say despite being very busy recently I have very little to say.

Last night (or the early hours of the morning. I can't remember exactly but it was pretty early) I was very proud and (dare I say it) happy (no, that's an exageration, but I was close) because I finished my Physics Coursework and have to do NO MORE physics coursework EVER AGAIN!!! I did it all last night and I think it has been done to a reasonable standard. Of course when I get it back I will know otherwise but I tried damned hard and I hope I did alright.

I brought some StarWars cards which are the most exciting thing I've brought in ages. If I remember they will make an appearance at the Banquet this weekend. I also brought some fudge but that got eaten...in my defence there were four of us.

Other news....I'm singing in a concert on Wednesday which will be fun. I'm showing my drama devising piece on Thursday. So my hours are full of musical and dramamtic practise. Also I have a piece of maths coursework due in on the 17th which I need to get on with. But I think that's pretty much it.

I love StarWars!!! and coffee...oh coffee....

Forgotten coffee cups

2005-11-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

Note: I would never forget a cup of coffee.

Recent realisation: I only drink coffee, cranberry juice and alcohol. Though I do not drink much cranberry juice or alcohol. I actually pretty much only drink coffee.

Shocking Fact: at my school they will not let you take coffee into the library, even if you only have 2 minutes to do something very important and it's all you've got for lunch! They make you leave it outside the library! Leaving a cup of coffee to fend for itself in the corridor. Who knows what horrors it encountered? How many people it had to fight to stay there for me? It was traumatic.

Coffee Fact: It is addictive. But who can mind when it tastes SO F***ING GOOD!

Coffee Poem:

thoughts glitter.

bubbles twist and turn

through my mind.

peace breaks through the darkness.

calm envelopes my soul.

heat rushes,

jumping up to greet me.

giggles filter through the pain.

life sparks.

a fairy dances.

puzzles are less puzzling.

the world becomes so sweet.

No-Coffee Poem:

saucepans clatter.

my mind is numb.

my brain is useless.

one track. no return.

conflict rages.

heads split in two.

temperature tumbles.

my body is lost to me.

confusion leaps from every turn.

the lights dim down,

but still shine too bright

for troubled eyes.

i want to hurt and weep and yell.

i disappear. invisible.

where is your world now?

Explanation of Coffee and No-Coffee: I decided to give myself a break during my free as I had not stopped all day (literally) so I sat down and wrote some poems. I did infact write seven poems (in 30minutes! I was impressed.) but you don't want to hear them all and this post is dedicated to coffee so I can't put them in anyway.

Other Coffee Related Thoughts: I really really really really love coffee. I think it's brilliant and although I do know I drink too much (and sometimes...well all the time... get withdraw-syptoms when I go long periods of time without it) I would replace my coffee fetish with nothing in the world...well maybe alcohol...but that's it!

One Un-Coffee Related Thought: I am widely considered as a stalker (or so I am led to believe). My list of stalkées include Rose, Connie (Rose's sister), Valerie (lovely school friend I have), Anais (my alter-ego. she's physical though. it's scary- we have the same thoughts. we ask the same questions in science and everything. freaky really.) and Miss Adie (my ex-drama teacher). Yet! There strikes a problem. It is also a widely known fact that all stalkers have been stalkées themselves. So that got me thinking- WHO has stalked me? (Except for Colin, who denied stalking me. I think he might have just been lonely, but I was under half his age and he said some very scary things....urm, yeah. We don't talk about that anymore.) The issue was raised during a conversation I held with Rose, Helen, Kirsten and Habiba (school friend) and we decided that Rose had obviously stalked me at some point. Then we had to see who stalked her and we realised I stalked her. So, how can this be possible? Well, I put my mind to it and figured that obviously in the future I build a time machine and travel back to the time before Rose stalks me and I stalk her. Chronologically I stalk her first BUT from my perspective she has already stalked me. You see what has happened? From my point of view she stalked me first but from her point of view I stalked her first. Brilliant, isn't it! All I've got to do now is build a time machine and go back and stalk her (this must be before 1994 because that is when I started to stalk her). I don't think I'll be doing that in the near future though as I have a lot of work to be getting on with.

Goodbye: goodbye. I hope I haven't confused anyone too much. For anyone who knows RedDwarf it is the same thing as Lister being his own father. Y'see now? Maybe not, I don't know.

COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Today

2005-10-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

Firstly I want to say this post is insignificant. I would really appriciate it if you could read the post titled "In Memory of Mary Fielding". I just wanted to put today in...

Good things of the day:
1.) The first good thing was waking up. I was extatic when I woke up. I was so relieved.
2.) I got more Omeprazole! (Though I did get a very disturbing leaflet with them...)
3.) I went to Borough Market...
4.) ...and the Tate Modern.
5.) Then I saw 'Chard.
6.) Oooh, and I ate lunch and dinner! Don't I just rock!

Bad things of the day:
1.) Felt very sick most of the day.
2.) The leaflet said I should not consume caffine, alcohol, spicy foods or tomatoes. I live off tomatoes, curry and coffee. Alcohol is always welcome in my view. So, I figure stuff that. I will not change my lifestyle that much just because a bit of paper tells me too.
3.) Didn't have camera in Borough Market and there are some amazing things there- though it's all a bit too expensive for me to be buying anything.

Thing of the day:
I met up with Chard. While yesterday for the cinema I was 50 minutes late (I know, it's shocking), today Mr Chard was TWO WHOLE HOURS LATE!!! So you cannot call me "oh late one" because Chard is worse than I!

Please read In Memory of M.F. It's very important to me at the moment. You may laugh at my silly thoughts if you wish. Goodnight and Merry Christmas! xxx

In Memory of Mary Fielding

2005-10-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

Mary Fielding was an ordinary child until the age of seven, when she was raped repeatedly by her father. Mary told her mother and subsequently Mary’s father was sent to jail. The trauma induced from these incidents caused Mary to contract the cranial illness of Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as Multiple Personality Disorder. Mary’s mother did not believe that her father had raped her and consequently began to have feelings of hatred for Mary. Mary’s mother started beating Mary, until Mary was covered in bruises from head to toe. Her mother continually told Mary she was a ‘liar’ and a ‘bad girl’, until Mary fully believed she was a ‘bad girl’. This physical and verbal abuse prompted Mary’s illness to worsen greatly and Mary was sent to a care unit where she could be treated. However the therapist assigned to Mary became convinced that Mary was pretending to have the illness in order to gain attention. The therapist could not work with Mary and eventually persuaded Mary’s mother to change therapists. On November 6th 1978 Mary was moved to a secure institution in Kent, where she could not be visited, nor removed or transferred without full medical conformation and approval of the home secretary. She lasted eight days before committing suicide. Mary Fielding was only 16 years old.
Mary died on 14th November, 11 years before the day I was born. I never met her but when I learnt her story I was deeply moved. The questions arise: why was Mary allowed to kill herself when she was meant to be in a secure environment? Should people have a choice on their life and death? Why should some people have the authority over others to prevent them taking their lives? Are we saying that the people who believe life is worth living are more important than the people who find life not worth it? What is this prejudice we have that makes us believe this?
Mary Fielding is a fictional character. All references to the illness Dissociative Identity Disorder, although well researched, may be incorrect.

Thought of the day.

2005-10-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Peter Pan once said, "To die will be a great adventure."
I could not agree more. To die will be a very great adventure, but I think to live may be a greater one. Much greater.

Thing on the Day (this IS different to event of the day) My titles are very accurate.

2005-10-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

Thing of the day: the shear amount of food I have eaten. I ate breakfast and lunch and dinner. I consumed no coffee (though I was forced to buy a 10p sweet and consum quickly in order to reach home awake). No alcohol was consumed. In fact the only drug (I use the term loosely) I have absorbed today (other than my gorgeous omeprazole) were hugs, which I admit I am aditted to- I get cravings! Hope everyone is enjoying their half terms! xxx

Event of the day

2005-10-21T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have just one worth saying. Others are either inconsiquential (word of the day) or ugly (not being look-ist here, just using the term). So....

My birthday is the 14th November. (The day after the day we all get back from the Banquet- oh the excitement. hehe...) But my brother, Henry (aged 13), decided to buy me a real birthday present this year (normally I get smarties-if I'm lucky. He spent four years saying he'd given me a necklace when I was 7 and didn't deserve another present yet!). And when he brought me a present he really did! (It's amazing- I'm so excited!) I am now (well I will be) the proud owner of a *drumroll* LIGHTSABRE! Yes! It is true! It's a beauty- changable colour (red/blue), makes all the correct "fizz" and "buzzz" noises, touch sensitive (*drools*) and all for a tony sum of £20! (Which I think is a lot of money, though Dave disagreed.) I know that I probably won't get another birthday present for many years so I am going to treasure this with great care and brilliance-at-treasuring. But yeah, that's my event of the day.

Oh! I also wrote a letter. I intend on sending it tomorrow. I think it's brilliant so you better treasure it when you get it! I spent ... minutes ... *shrug* ... writing it and it deserves to be read. (Well, it doesn't but I'd appriciate it if you did read it.)

*smiley* (yeah, it's real) xxx

Poems and a Small nb

2005-10-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night because my mind was on overdrive. Normally this is a terrible thing because my mind is not very nice. BUT last night he was being (dare I say it) kinda creative (*sigh of relief at not being attacked for using this word...yet!*) and everytime I shut my eyes words would fall from the ceiling and hit me. I wrote a few of them down to stop the flow. They're all works in progress but I was wondering (as ya do) if anybody felt like poking them a bit for me (unless you're all watching StarWars, which is vital to your life). *clears throat* Here goes:

I am in a lot of pain.

My eyes are too weary to weep,

But outside

The clouds cry for me.

Purple bruises cover the sky,

Bathed in the cool moonlight.

I sigh, stars falling.

The night ticks by and I

Wait for the sun to shine again.

It is already tomorrow

But I know the past is late.

(That was the first one I wrote. Personally I think it's rubbish except for the last two lines, but they don't seem to make sense anymore. They did last night. I like the "illiteration" in the first four lines, but I think the content is rubbish. Thoughts please!)

Fractured bubbles lie broken at her feet.

If the world were an orange...

But the world is not an orange.

A cloud of mist descends.

A face sticks out. Shining.

Shattered thoughts drift incoherant.

Youth lingers one more day.

A pause. Lightning.

Youth dies hard when you're young with feeling.

I would never desert you.

No matter what hellhole you decide to place your thoughts in.

The children are screaming.

I watch you sleeping,

Apparently peaceful

Though conflict rages behind closed eyes.

(I don't know what to say about that one. It's nowhere near finished but there are some aspects which I like - the phrase "Youth dies hard when you're young with feeling" has been floating round my head a few weeks now and I like it. I'm not sure if I put it in the right place though? Thought please?)

The hole is deep.

The child is sinking.

A feather flutters in the wind.

The world is dark.

The child is sleeping.

Fear caresses a lonely sod.

Love runs as tears drip.

A daisy falls, beaten.

The world was too strong.

Life was too much to take.

(Yeah. I don't know. If you have any thoughts could you just tell me what's good, what's bad? So I didn't stay up all night in vain.)

I'm not romantic.

I'm young and I'm foolish.

You call me cute.

I call me plain.

K's not for Knitting.

Life won't be endless.

P is for Parrots.

U is for Rain.

(I might be onto something there but I don't know what. I'm very tired now. Maybe I should eat some breakfast...)

Small nb/

I just want to apologise to anybody who read the "I'm Sorry" post. It was wrong of me to write it and I hope nobody read it. Hugs and smiles. Emmie

Vague recollections

2005-10-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched two football matches. One I watched in person, in the present day (though it is the past now) Queen's Park Rangers vs Plymouth Argyle. It was a one-all-draw. I was content because we were losing and then we scored. A draw is better than a lose (Crystal Palace lost, so Steve can't tease me this week!). The other match I watched I did watch in person once; roughly 13 hours, 11 minutes, 1 week, 6 days, 7 months and 14 years before. But I was mini then and I think I slept through most of it. The second match I watched was "England" vs "The Rest Of The World". (My dad and uncle were in "England". My godfather and a load of people I know were in "The Rest Of The World". It was so funny.) There was a slightly worrying shot of baby-me sitting in my pushchair in the middle of all these 30-odd-aged men changing! No wonder I have strange thoughts....

I have lots of lines of poetry in my head, but I can't get them to fit together. If I ever manage it I will put it down here for you all to marvel at. (Haha. Jokes!)

Yesterday Soti came round and we made chocolate fudge. It is actually a near-success. I took a lot of photos but have so far failed at loading them onto the computer. (I'm not good at computers...and I've lost the program I need to put the photos on so it's all a bit confusing.)

Today I plan on drinking a lot of coffee and introducing Rose to Star Wars- which she has somehow missed for the past 17 (nearly 18!!!) years of her life. Yes, I hear your gasps of shock and horror. I cried when I found out. Poor girl. She hasn't lived yet!

Other developments in my titchy little world...Luke's attempt at beating Dave's card triangle failed...despite using blu-tac...we are attempting to rebuild it. If all is successful it will be 13 thingies high. So *sticks tongue out* Dave!

*shivers* I'm going to finish drinking this forgotten cup of coffee (I've just remembered why it tastes weird. I put coffee and cocoa in the cup...no sugar...interesting...*sigh*)

Potatoes! Icecream! Squirrels! Fairy cakes! (which is the odd one out?)

2005-10-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

(Answer: none of the above. All were big factors in the day's adventuring.)

So, I have had a most interesting day today. Rose arrived. I scared her by saying hello from above (there is a window above the front door-good for scaring people!) and let her in, though the door...not the window. I set about producing lunch (I had promised her) and proving to her my culinary wizardary. Due to some unfortunate events (me deciding to cook being the main one) we ate fried poatoes and carrot. It was ... interesting. Edible, so I proved my worth. :) Then we went downstairs and she met my gorgeous Cake (the hamster). He was loved all round. After that we decided to go out on the common, as it was such a lovely day. Icecream was brought and we tottered off to the daisy hill, which was sadly devoid of daisies (due to the time of year). We sat on some stratigicly placed logs and began to eat our icecream. When suddenly we were visited by a most hansome little squirrel. He came up to us and sniffed. So Rose promptly gave him an icecream lid and he joined our party. He seemed to like the ice cream very much and was provided with another lid. After finishing this he ate little bits of our icecreams until attacked by a bunch of screaming children. But this squirrel came unbeievably close to us! We named him 'Mr Rose-Emmie' and he became a much-loved part of our icecream picnic society. Then we went back to my house and made fairy cakes! The recipe was a little off because we did it from my memory- and we all know that's not all too good. Then, once the cakes were cooked we made icing! And when we made icing we made lots of icing! Six different colours! All bright and beautiful! It was fantabulous! (If I get round to it before they're all eaten I will take a picture and find out how to load it on.) Once everything was cool and dry, and we'd done the washing up (lots of it too- but brothers helped), we had a civilised tea and cakes. Highly enjoyable. Then it was sadly time for Rose to go. So I took her home (she needs to be looked after). But then I had to walk home in the dark all on my own and it was a little bit scary. (Especially cos someone was murdered in the area just 2 days ago. So I was being very alert and tense. I walked along and I thought about some lovely people and their brilliant hugging abilities. It cheered me up a bit. But not as much as seeing them. . .

Pirates! (a dream)

2005-10-17T00:32:00.000-07:00

There is a pirate ship on the horizon. Its sails are a light brown and fully out. It looks beautiful in the sparkling green sea. On board a man with a marvellous red coat and a brilliant black beard is steering. Children (around the age of 12) wash the deck with mops and buckets. They are all deeply tanned with long, tangled hair. One boy's mess of blond hair stands out, shining in the bright sunlight. Fat sailors wander amoungst the children, whipping any they think are washing too slow. One sailor sits on top of a barrel of rum, chewing tobacco. He spits it onto the floor and a child runs quickly to clean it up.
Dinner time. Two boys struggle under the weight of a huge pot of stew. They walk along the rows of men. A girl dishes the stew into the mens' bowls, which are wooden with initials engraved on the bottom. The captain, the man who had been steering, is not present. Neither are the children. The captain is alone in his private chamber. Children serve him a roast duck with all the trimmings and large glasses of red wine. He eats greedily in the candle light. Once the men have eaten the children file into the room and sit quietly on the benches. When all the men have left the children start to chatter and laugh. They eat stale bread, some cheese and an apple each. After they've eaten their rations and quietened down a bit the blond boy stands on the table and all falls quiet. They creep closer and whisper together.
Another day. The ship is tied to a dock. The sailor-men are out at a pub. The children have been left to guard the boat, some sent to get supplies. They all look nervous and excited. Something is up.

[the rest is a bit hazy so please forgive me for any inaccuracies]

There is a small rowing boat filled with soft toys tied to the side of the ship. The sailors return to the ship, some children following them carrying barrels of rum and caskets of food. The ship sets sail. A scrawny girl tells the captain that there is a present for him, tied to the side of the ship. The captain, excitedly, looks down and sees the boat of toys. He gets angry and throws a bone at the boat. It hits it and the boat shudders angrily. The captain rolls his eyes and walks off.

[something happens]

Chard (big Chard- the Chard you and I know) leaps out of the boat from underneath the toys. He jumps up to the ship and starts yelling stuff.

[something happens]

Chard is fighting the captain. He is the blond boy grown up. All the children fight the sailors and there is lots of sword clanging and swashbuckling. The sun beats down on them all and the sailors get tired but the children fight on. Soon all the sailors have been thrown over board, except the captain who is saved to walk the plank once the children have built one. Chard, who is now the captain, gives the captainhood to little-Chard (the blond boy), who grins a huge grin and starts to sing the star wars theme tune. Little-Chard says the girl who was dishing out stew is the First Mate and she is happy too. Then big Chard says, "I have to go now." and vanishes into thin air. The children pirates clap and sail off into the sunset, playing with the toys.

[I wake up and go and have a bubble-bath.Very fun!]

Letters.

2005-10-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have written some letters. I have some stamps. I can't promise I will be able to put the two together until Monday at least. It's very very hard...

I wanna live in the Otrix...and be a pirate when I grow up! Yay!!!

2005-10-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting here chewing tentatively on an apple. I’m wearing jeans and a stripy black and white top. While grey is a lovely colour, I have no grey tops long enough to wear today.
Since I last blogged tonnes of stuff has happened. I know it has because it says so on my calendar. But I can’t remember much of it so I’m only going to put down my memories.
Thursday 29th September (ages ago!):
I went to the hospital in aim of getting fixed – my stomach is messed up. Well, I waited for a bit in the waiting room. They weighed and measured me. (I am 5’1”! Hear that- over five foot!) Then I saw the doctor and we talked a bit and she decided we were getting nowhere and to start again. So I was guided through to the blood room and another nurse took some of my blood (4 vials- it felt like a lot). I’ve got to say I think I enjoyed that bit the most. I love the colour of blood. It’s beautiful.
Then they gave me some lovely little pills which are meant to stop it hurting (they work most of the time!) and sent me off to school. I don’t know when the next appointment will be. I s’pose it will be when they’ve got the results back.
Saturday 1st October:
I’d babysat two lovely boys in Blackheath the night before and (due to their parents’ habit of getting back in the early hours of the morning completely hammered) I stayed the night. Thus waking up in Blackheath.
I got dressed in my gorgeous school uniform and zoomed off to school to show parents and their diddy year sixes around. Ate lots of kitkats- good breakfast!
After that I went home and got changed, etc. I also made an omelette. (Well, I would call it an omelette…I’m not sure if anyone else would.)
Next I saw Steve the Brilliant One and we ate chips and wandered around the common and then wandered around my house, admiring the hamster. (That’s all there is to admire in my house, except my brothers’ guitars. But they were kind of hidden behind piles of mess.)
That was a good day. Except later on I was babysitting (I was busy that week.) for gorgeous Sabs, Dylan and Lola and they were all in bed. I was all alone. I got very scared, very paranoid, very panicky. I hid, shaking, in the corner under a blanket with the TV on and a book and I texted Richard from Kent (‘Chard to you lot) who kindly helped me calm down. That was weird. I was so scared.
Then there was the week, which was pretty uneventful except for the obvious Scottish dancing (oh so swirly) and Choir.
This Sunday – Sunday 9th October:
I went to grey Lewis’ birthday not-party and had a lovely time. There were so many gorgeous people there, all very nice and also very witty. Otis made a special appearance and was admired by all. He was in his human costume at the time. His disguise did not fool me for one moment! (Well maybe one…but just one!)
I must say very big congratulations to Lewis for reaching the grand old age of 18 and for throwing such a splendid not-party.
And that’s it - all that I can remember from the past two weeks. I also wrote an English essay at some point, which I was very proud of…and I had a maths test today, which actually went ok. I was hugely surprised.
PS- Steve, I wish to have my sock back at some point in the near future. Cheers.

shakes and breaks

2005-09-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

I went to Scottish dancing today with Rose and Helen. 'Twas very fun. . .swirly. Everything was very swirly. Oh, I've said that. Well, it can be said twice cos that emphasises how very swirly it was!

words x

2005-09-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

went sailing today. big winds. lots of upping and downing. still feel uppy and downy. very confusing. keep falling over. bit of a mess really.

i'm sending out big hugs to you...

2005-09-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

Unlike Helen I cannot remember what I did all the way back on... Thursday. (note my perfect grammer there! mwahahahahaha! with grammer as good as this i can take over the world!!!) So I'm just going to write what I can remember, and hope I remember anything important.

Friday (I can remember a little bit of it!): I...urm...I...hmmm....ah yes! I helped out at a Youth Club (7-11yrs) which was very fun and sweet because there were many lovely lovely children there. Got home in time for dinner (yay!)...

On Saturday I went shopping with Henry (brother) and my mother (mother) and I found the BEST fancy dress shop. Very exciting! Also found a lovely cd store, very quaint but not very helpful (I was looking for a VERY specific cd which they did not have). Urm, then I raced home and made lunch, which Luke (my other darling brother) stole from me. But I had to go out so I didn't mind too much. I hurried off the the theatre (Lyric, near Leister Square- boy, I LOVE Leister Square!) where I saw Death of a Salesman, which was very good. I was very impressed. It was good. Urm, then I walked with Lizzy over to Leister Square and we brought hot chocolates and watched the Swiss Clock clime in 6 o'clock. Then I was babysitting for two of the most loveliest boys ever. They're so sweet (and SO WELL BEHAVED!!!) Got back about midnight and did some stuff...

Then on Sunday I got up bright and early (7 o'clock, yeah I know, not that early but still!) and went off to Blackheath. Then (with Richard, my Richard, not Lewis or 'Chard) I went up to Camber and we looked for somewhere to fly the kites but there were loads of restictions and confusion and when we did finally find somewhere where we were allowed to kite it was too windy! But we hung out and looked at beaches and sand dunes and I got some lovely little shells and overall it was ok. I fell asleep in the car on the way back (while I was navigating! hahaha) which I'm very rpoud of 'cos I haven't managed to fall asleep in a car since I was 7. Then I got home and hung about and I guess everything alright.

Except there are things that aren't alright:

Sarah H-B does not seem particularly happy at her University and I promised she'd make tonnes of friends and have loads of fun. So, if she doesn't I should, by rights, die (for breaking a promise). Also her phone is broken so she can't text/call anyone.
My stupid computer has gone and introduced a load of restrictions on my area meaning I cannot access anyones' blog (and my mum is in too bad a mood to stick her password in a couple of times to let me be able to).
There's a Banquet on the 12-13th November (which I may not be invited to. Fan told me about it. I dunno. *shrug*) in Cambridge which I really really would like to go to (if I'm invited) because I loved seeing everyone at Helen's BBQ and because it would mean I could be out of this house for a day-or-two and because it's my birthday on Monday 14th Nov and my parents won't let me have a party of my own but it would be really nice to go to a party/banquet anyway! Thing is I know my parents will not let me go unless I can persuade them with great skill and determination...or lie and say I'm going to someone's house for the 2 days but knowing the probable time-scale of such events it's highly unlikely I would be able to convince them of this. (Also I get told off for "running away from home"/"not telling us where you've been"/"being ungrateful"/many many more similar things. And it's all very sad.

So I am appealing to all you clever minded people out there (if I am invited) as to how I should go about this persuading. Help me! Please... love you all. xxx

look into my tired eyes.

2005-09-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

It may not be the same without the tune but I want to share this song.

Burn Baby Burn (Ash)

You're all I have in this teenage twilight

Your golden hair and pale blue eyes

But through all the days and the sleepless nights

We have never been satisfied

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah we are spiraling on the breeze

Almost to the point of no return

Everything will burn, baby, burn

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

And never will be reconciled

Oh something inside has died

You walk like you're in a daze

Unresponsive eyes in a distant gaze

Like all the good times have flown away

And their memory leaves a bitter taste

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah, we are spiraling on the breeze

Destructive love is all we have

Destructive love is all I am

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

And never will be reconciled

Oh something inside has died

Vicious bitter words,

Becoming more and more cruel

But you always take me back

And let me lick your wounds

Tumbling like the leaves

Yeah we are spiraling on the breeze

Almost to the point of no return

Everything will burn, baby, burn

Look into my tired eyes

See someone you don't recognise

Blinds that can't be untied

Oh this is slow suicide

Feelings that I can't disguise

We're living in a compromise

Something inside has died

It doesn't say anything very special but somehow it fits in my mind. I just wanted to share it. Now I have (woo! go me!).

Urm, so actual reality. What is reality these days? It does not exist.

Have you noticed the leaves are turning brown and crunchy? Very intresting. I didn't expect them so early. It's not cold (except when I have not eaten or slept enough- then it is cold!). If we are lucky there will be Guy Falwke's Night soon (yes, I know I spelt it wrong. It was intentional!).

Do you know the last song Johnny Cash sang? It's called Hurt. It's not by him originally but he sings it very very well. It's very beautiful.

There are lots of spaces in this entry. Well, I have reasons. My mind has many gaps in it at the moment. Everything is all a bit ... weird. Do you know the album Dark Side of the Moon? (Pink Floyd) It's so good!

My final thing: has anyone seen Richard from Kent recently? (I believe he is known as Richard S to some of you, for some unknown reason!)

Bye. Hugs and kisses to everyone! xxx

ringringringringringringring.... (I love brackets!)

2005-09-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

Today I went with my mini brother to Beckenham and he played football (winning 13-0. well done him!) while I saw the brilliant and beautiful Steve and Gwyn. Which was very nice. Steve is a very good hugger and Gwyn is a wonderful licker. But one of them (you're going to have to guess) makes me feel very small. In a good way. It's cool. So I want to thank them both for making me smile. THANK YOU!!! I'm afraid I have nothing much to say apart from that. I spoke a lot to the lovely Sarah H-B today. She is very interesting (and brave!). Now I am kind of wordless. I've done most of my homework (claps for Emmie!). I have no after school plans all week (shame on Emmie!) but I will keep busy. I'm good at keeping busy when there is nothing to do (not to be boastful. I know I'm being boastful. hehe!) Cor, I'm energy drained now. But only mentally. Physically I wanna get up and dance (don't worry, I won't.). I'm sorry if this makes no sense. Goodbye. See you again....

World 1-0 Emmie

2005-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

(I'm breaking the song-title trend in mourning of a dreadful football match that I watched this afternoon.)

You may not know (I don't know who you are so how can I know what you know?) but I am a Queen's Park Ranger's fan. My father is a Leeds United fan. Today QPR played Leeds at Loftus Road (QPR's stadium). I went to see the match with my mother and her brother. I was a bit nervous because the last two times these two teams met Leeds had won 6-1 and we had drawn 1-1. But we started the match well, having attempts at goal and doing decent tackles. Sadly Leeds scored a (rubbish!) goal just before half time, making the score 1-0 to them. The rest of the match was eventful but with no good events. Two of QPR's best players got injured and had to be sub-ed. A Leeds player stamped on someone's foot and got sent off, leaving the Leeds team with only 10 men. There were many incidents resulting in yellow cards, but no more goals. I was sent home to face my dad and brothers (my brothers support Chelsea and Liverpool but they like to tease me).

Yet there was more bad vibes to come! On the bus journey going home my mother suddenly goes, "Emmie, we have to get off the bus!" So we get off the bus and sit on a wall. She's all grey and bug-eyed. She says she's feeling dizzy and ill. We wait a bit for her to recover herself. Then we walk down the tube station and catch the tube one stop over to Sloane Square. Basically eventually I phone my father and he comes to pick us up. She's in bed now. My dad has not given me too much stick about the football match. My brothers have but they're away in Henry's room now.

So yeah, that was my day pretty much. I was meant to get up and take some books back to the library, do some homework, clean out Cake (my hamster. I will do a paragraph about him because he deserves one.) and make sure my lovely brothers are being good. But I failed at that, getting up at 11am (this is 3 hours later than normally at the weekend. Shame on me!).

Cake is my little hamster. He is about 8 weeks old now. He is black and fuzzy- very cute! He likes to run around his cage and shred toilet paper. His hobbies also include being held and sitting on my mobile when it goes *fuzz!* (It *fuzzes* insted of ringing because I don't like the songs it has and I'm too lazy to buy any decent ones.) He dislikes me playing the drums and cleaning him out. He is my little goth hamster and I like him a lot. I don't think there is anything else I can say about him. He might be a father in the future with my brother's hamster Flapjack (who is grey/blond and about 7 weeks old). I am against this, owing to the threat it puts on Flapjack and the result of having 6 baby hamsters which will be cute but undoubtedly homeless.

Things on my mind include....

worries about my parents and friends, etc. Some serious, some not so serious.
sadness at the amount of homework I have to do this weekend.
amusement at the thought of tidying my room.
congratulations to the brilliant Steve and beautiful Rose.
wishes which should not be spoken outloud.

I hope I've been able to sum up everything needed. I have to go now. I might be back later. xxx

the ceiling

2005-09-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

I've been critisised for not blogging so I am trying to rectify this. I'm sorry. I've been busy and I had nothing nice to say. But I have nice things to say now.
So, today I've been introduced to Bananaphone and EveryoneElseHasHadMoreSexThanMe. Both very lovely songs. I also saw the beautiful Rose.... Slept for nearly two hours earlier..... I actually have nothing to say. I've been writing lots of poems in my head. Drawing lots of pictures in my head. I have been doing mnay things in my head, so there has not been much time to do phyisical things, which means I have nothing decent to write about. Once I have sorted out the things maybe I will be able to translate them into words...oooh! Wouldn't that be nice!

im so high im never low!

2005-09-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

how do i make a list with other people's blog names on it?

too much homework. but i like the beautiful blogs everyone's posted about the BBQ.

xxx

in their shoes...

2005-09-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Hi! Keeping up the song titles, although I doubt anyone will know the songs...but it does not matter. Urm, things I've gotta say. I went to France which wasn't all bad. I got stung by a jellyfish (which I thought was very cool, if a bit painfull, although i was sorry for the jellyfish. it must've been SO scared!). By the way I'm sorry if I haven't blogged recently, though I have been home for 4 days now! Basically I was doing all my holiday homework (drama coursework, history essay, english coursework). I've now done the drama and history. Working on the english...slowly. But what I was going to say is that today the best thing I did was go to Helen's Bloggers' BBQ; where I met loads of lovely people, played some very intresting games, ate good food and almost learnt to juggle (which I am very excited about). I would like to make contact with lots of the lovely people I met, cos they are lovely (as I did say). I've got to say my account of the BBQ might not be very good, but I'm not very good at describing real things (not to great at describing unreal things either). We had some fun with shoes and there was a gorgeous massage-line going on. I'm very tired now- did you spike all the drinks Helen? Lots of people seem to be tired. Hope everybody got home safe and I will look out for your blogs in the future! xxx

and then i looked up and looked in the mirror behind me

2005-08-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Listening to Stereophonics. I really like them. I don't know how to put it, but the dischords are... it's beautiful. (I don't think I'm gonna manage to make a sentence that makes any sense, other than that. I tried; I'm just not good at explaining myself. Sorry.)

So, today I went to Camden (wooo!) with Fiona, Max B and James. 'Twas alright. We looked around, had a laugh. Then we all came back to my house and Max B tried to teach me the drums and James tried to teach Fi the guitar. It was a very successful day, music-wise. James is amazing at the guitar. Wish I was. Need to practise more!

Talking of music, I think I should just explain my recent titles as they might not seem to correspond to the actual post. The titles are quotes from songs. Not special ones. Just simple ones; ones that stick in my head.

On Tuesday I am going to France. It's very sad. I don't want to go, but I do 'cos in France they speak French and French is cool. (If you disagree with me that's your problem!) But I don't want to leave everyone behind (not that most of my friends are here anyway, but still.) It's really annoying 'cos I'm gonna miss Valerie's b-day party, and I missed her last one too. Also, it's gonna be awful 'cos it means I'm gonna be with my family for two weeks! TWO WEEKS!

But I can't complain. I'm lucky to be going away. I'm lucky to be going to a country that I have vague knowladge of. I'm lucky to be going with my family...well I guess. Of course I am. *Big smiles.*

I'm very tired. (I know it's pathetic, isn't it! Ten o'clock and I'm wandering around like a lost rabbit!) But I have lots to do. I have tonnes and tonnes to do. Goodbye. Kisses.

It's a long way to the top...

2005-08-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

Hiya! At the moment I am listening to fantastic music sent to me by the equally fantastic Fan. Music from the (also fantastic) film School of Rock. Yay! (And some Pink Floyd, simply because they're so amazing!) As you can tell, I am in music heaven right now! Ah, it's beautiful. Thank you Fan. You rule! :D

What it feels like to fly!

2005-08-12T03:09:00.000-07:00

This week has been a pretty good one, considering. But I can't really find anything I want to say, without going into long explanations and boring things. (Good news is, if this works, in one weeks time I will be able to eat and not feel any pain at all aftrewards. I'm really excited about that! But I don't wanna get too excited cos if it doesn't work then everything will just seem more shitty.) Ooops! Being kicked off the computer! Byeeeeeeeee

Red is for apples...

2005-07-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

As I said, yesterday was cool. I've got to say today was not quite so lovely. As normal, due to bad sleeping habits I was kinda knackered. But it was all cool. I got up and made scones (and I used a recipe! I rule!!!) and then I ate some of the scones and blahblahblah... I did tonnes of maths revision (but I guess if I do it now I won't have to do it tomorrow) and then, after lunch, I went with my brothers to play tennis. Normally I would play for ever... but today somehow before we'd even finished one set (although we do play v-e-r-y--s-l-o-w-l-y) I was curled up asleep in one of the plastic chairs lying about and Spuds & Henry were playing alone. Eventually we came home and hung about (absolutely NO idea what we did) for a bit. Then my parents went to that guy... Louis and Fabs' dad... Marcus! they went to Marcus' party and me & my bros watched Austin Powers. And that's it. Now I have to go, cos I've got to get them into bed. BIG TASK! Ah, woe is me ... on the completion of this task before 10. Wish me luck....

HAPPY

2005-07-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

I am happy. It rules. I don't think there's very much else to say. (I'm completely sober, before you ask!) Today I saw my friend -not "friend", friend...Helen!- Richard (not 'Chard-Richard, my Richard...not that he's mine......) and we went kiting. Then, after dinner, we hung about (literally) on the climbing frame in his back garden. It was very fun. But yeah, I'm happy. That is my main news of today. I guess for most people it won't seem significant. But for me it is. Anyway, I have to go. Card games call! xxx

The whole terror thing...

2005-07-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

Heya!
Just thinking about the whole terror thing, y'know with bombs and tubes and people dying and all that. Yeah well, I dunno about you but I'm not particularly terrified. I've got to say I don't think they're chosing their spots very well. I mean, if I were a terrorist bomber -and for anyone reading this, I'm really not. Even if I did intend on blowing myself up, I wouldn't want to take anyone with me. That would just be cruel- but IF I were one, I would head for the deepest underground tunnels, because then it would create more damage and be harder to clear the damage. Thing is, really wouldn't it be cleverer to blow up a really busy road that was above a close-to-surface tube line. 'Cause then, if it were strong enough dynamite, you'd stop cars, lorries, buses, taxis, pedestrians and the tube. Which is going to make more people notice, and going to prevoke more ... well ... terror. Which is what they're all about...right. Not killing people, although I guess that comes into it...maybe.
Um, but yeah. Terrorism. Fun, eh? Not really, I feel sorry for the victims families and friends. I mean it's not exactly fair, is it. They could've been asked before being sacrificed to make a point. But I guess these people don't work like that. I mean, that wouldn't exactly provoke terror. . . Maybe I've missed out on something here, but do they actually know who is behind this? I mean, what is the point? Heard a great quote today (although you must pardon some rather crude language in the quote, thing is) that I think it is very appropriate. It's very simple: "Bombing for peace is like f***ing for virginity". Beautiful in its own right.
So yeah, I think that's pretty much it on my views of the whole terror thing. I've got to say it wasn't very considerate of them to do it now, right in the holidays. Ruining our tourist trade and people's holiday plans. Although the taxi drivers and petrol people must be getting a good deal from it all. Ah well. Talk later, maybe.
xxx titch xxx

the little coffee freak

Random

experiment

erm... hi

camping

A Stupid Idea If Ever I Heard One

Snapshots of Emmieland

Glory Days

DRUMS and VODKA!

Art...

VODKA RIDE!

breakfast

Vodka

Thing of the Day: NSCWEC

Quick post

It's cold in space.

100th post

it's NOT hot!

can we fix it?

weekend!

pleasure post three!

--- -. .-.- . .. .... .- -.. .- -.. .-. . .- --

pleasure post two!

pleasure post

current affairs

pictorial post

barely titled

My Recent Thievings!

More on Question 39

like a piece of cheese, but not

Question 39

peaches come in a can

every day is a new day

it's such a waste to be wasted in the first place

A Mr Finger Tale

visual aid

interlude

and now for something completely different...

au jour'dui

A fear of things to come

do dee doo dee doo...

More recent events

recent events

here without you

Life

past, present and future

cheques and balences...well actually maths and coffee and history but it's all the same

what if?

a post

rain

whistling

COFFEEEE!

Sleep, Hunger, Crying, Coffee, Breakfast! and m...m...mocks

14th November

2005

coffee etc

have you ever?

happy new year

un autre reve

childhood dream

a conventional entry

curses

titchy post

someone's favourite little coffee freak talks on coffee

let me be your scapegoat

there is no one here but me!

poem

doobeeedooodooodaaa

as promised

Give up giving up.

Thing of the Day!!!

scrabble, limoncello and .. er .. something else

no coffee

Blooobardyblahblah...

Forgotten coffee cups

Today

In Memory of Mary Fielding

Thought of the day.

Thing on the Day (this IS different to event of the day) My titles are very accurate.

Event of the day

shakes and breaks